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mellabella's review
3.0
I was introduced to The Conversation by a work friend. I found it really inspirational. I had seen glimpses of Amanda here and there over the years. Magazines, etc. I knew her as having once being married to John Taylor from Duran Duran. But, she is obviously more than someones wife. She is an interesting multi dimensional person. With a career, family, thoughts, feelings, insecurities... You get it. This book wasn't really told in any sort of order. I don't think it wasn't meant to be. It's more like having a conversation with a friend.
3.5 stars.
3.5 stars.
thegeekybibliophile's review against another edition
3.0
Apparently, I've been living under a rock, because I'd never heard of Amanda de Cadenet until I read this book. (Or perhaps it's more accurate to say I've been living with my nose permanently stuck in one book after another.)
I made a decision earlier this year to broaden my reading horizons and read books I wouldn't ordinarily have read in the past. This is the sort of book that, in past years, I would have been curious about and maybe even skimmed over a few pages before putting it back on the shelf. As a general rule, I'm not one to read essay collections and I don't think I've ever read a book where one of the main topics is feminism, either. This book hit the spot twice over on broadening my reading horizons, so obviously I had to read it.
And I'm glad I did.
I really enjoyed the conversational feel of the book. It flowed as if I were reading a series of letters, rather than a collection of essays. (If I hadn't been reading two other books at the same time, I have no doubt that I could have read the entire book cover to cover in less than two days.) In the book, de Cadenet shares stories of her life—childhood, marriages, motherhood, and career—and as the title suggests, some of it is, indeed, messy. She also discusses lessons she's learned along the way, about the importance of friendship, standing up for what you believe in, and being true to yourself. One of the things that resonated most with me is when she talks about not listening to the negative voice inside your head when it tells you you're not "enough" in some way. (Ladies, you know the voice I'm talking about: The one that says you're not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough... whatever.) That voice is a vicious bitch and hits on every insecurity a women has about herself. In speaking about body acceptance, Amanda says:
Those thirteen little words have a huge amount of truth in them, and it made me pause for a moment of reflection. How much time have I spent, every single day, feeling unhappy about the way I look? How many times have I let depression to wash over me in waves as I made endless lists of everything that wasn't "good enough" about me? Wasted time, all of it. Even more so when I think about how little time, in comparison, I've spent feeling content about any of those things.
Some essays are more difficult to read than others, due to the subject matter, but they all have important messages to get across. This is definitely a book that makes you think.
Now that I've broadened my reading horizons... won't you broaden yours, as well? :)
I received an advance review copy of this book courtesy of Harper Wave.
I made a decision earlier this year to broaden my reading horizons and read books I wouldn't ordinarily have read in the past. This is the sort of book that, in past years, I would have been curious about and maybe even skimmed over a few pages before putting it back on the shelf. As a general rule, I'm not one to read essay collections and I don't think I've ever read a book where one of the main topics is feminism, either. This book hit the spot twice over on broadening my reading horizons, so obviously I had to read it.
And I'm glad I did.
I really enjoyed the conversational feel of the book. It flowed as if I were reading a series of letters, rather than a collection of essays. (If I hadn't been reading two other books at the same time, I have no doubt that I could have read the entire book cover to cover in less than two days.) In the book, de Cadenet shares stories of her life—childhood, marriages, motherhood, and career—and as the title suggests, some of it is, indeed, messy. She also discusses lessons she's learned along the way, about the importance of friendship, standing up for what you believe in, and being true to yourself. One of the things that resonated most with me is when she talks about not listening to the negative voice inside your head when it tells you you're not "enough" in some way. (Ladies, you know the voice I'm talking about: The one that says you're not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough... whatever.) That voice is a vicious bitch and hits on every insecurity a women has about herself. In speaking about body acceptance, Amanda says:
It's better to accept yourself and your body than to beat yourself up.
Those thirteen little words have a huge amount of truth in them, and it made me pause for a moment of reflection. How much time have I spent, every single day, feeling unhappy about the way I look? How many times have I let depression to wash over me in waves as I made endless lists of everything that wasn't "good enough" about me? Wasted time, all of it. Even more so when I think about how little time, in comparison, I've spent feeling content about any of those things.
Some essays are more difficult to read than others, due to the subject matter, but they all have important messages to get across. This is definitely a book that makes you think.
Now that I've broadened my reading horizons... won't you broaden yours, as well? :)
I received an advance review copy of this book courtesy of Harper Wave.
cecefaulkner's review
adventurous
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
eliselawrence19's review
1.0
Amanda de Cadanet has compiled a series of mostly mundane personal anecdotes with a heavy-handed self-help tone (despite her insistence in the introduction that "this is not a self-help book") and purposeless celebrity name-dropping.
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?
It was easy to read, with her frank and conversational tone, but her hypocrises undermined her credibility throughout.
For a book that only came out last year, it doesn't seem attuned to the social climate or to be contributing to the conversation. Amanda seems to have an inflated sense of her own importance and wisdom, presenting her ideas as "radical" when they are years behind any kind of modern conversation regarding feminism or body acceptance. She also makes sweeping generalisations like "having an active and fulfilling sex life is more complicated than ever before". How so? And as compared to when/what?
Her hypocrises and insecurities are most evident in her discussion of bodily autonomy. She says that women should do whatever they want! (but not that). E.g. page 78: Don't let anyone tell you that you should be having sex after giving birth (until your child is at least one). Also you need to accept the fact your partner won't be very pleased about the post-natal lack of sex, and that "sometimes it makes everyone's life easier to just do it" (p.79). She also tells the reader that she gave her husband the option between a "floppy stomach or floppy vagina" (C-section or vaginal birth, p.80), with no further discussion about making the right decision for your birth and body, or about respectful discussions that do not give your partner the power to make decisions about your body...
Her discussions of childbirth, motherhood and postpartum depression felt the most authentic and I liked what she had to say about searching for your truth, especially as it related to finding meaningful work. I resonated with what she had to say in Chapter Three about "love addiction" and the deadly combination of abusive partners and low self esteem. But ultimately I was left feeling like...so what?
verystarry's review
5.0
As an American my first glimpse of Amanda DeCadent was a picture I clipped for my scrapbook of her with Courtney Love in cream colored gowns and a tiara. I'm not afraid to admit my shallow thought was "Oh my god she's gorgeous". This was pre internet so I had to grill everyone and their older siblings on who she was. Most people just said she was a socialite married to the guy from Duran Duran. I didn't really know what the term socialite meant and I don't think that's fitting of who she was, but you know teenage America in the 90s. So I had this massive crush on her and just sort of admired from a distance. Then as the years went on I would find her name attached to my favorite photographs of Drew Barrymore, Heather Graham...and of course Keanu Reeves. She was an artist! In 2005 I bought her book "Rare Birds" and lost myself in the images. My first glimpse of her in person was when I was living in LA and a friend took me to a Strokes concert. I'm not going to lie and pretend I wasn't a big fan of theirs but holy shit was I late to the game on that band. 3rd album tour and I had no idea she was dating Nick. But there on the side of the stage stood this tiny beautiful blonde with her camera. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Not because I thought she was beautiful but because she was in a short dress and tights and she would lay down on the ground to get the perfect shot. I was transfixed watching her work. Our children are born a few months apart and I remember seeing her with her kiddos once at Whole Foods (ironically) and I really really wanted to run up to her and hug her and just say thank you. But I didn't want to bother her. Plus as a new mom I was so self conscious of how I looked. In hindsight ten years later I can see how I missed a moment there. I wish I would have known that we were both suffering and probably could have used that hug and conversation. Fuck. I want to point out specifically how important the chapters on motherhood and postpartum depression are. I didn't even realize until about a year ago that I spent two years after I stopped nursing my son with some of the most crippling depression of my life. The shame of those years being a blur to me are sharp and painful. I loved my son, we were bonded but I was miserable all of the time. I was numb. I didn't recognize it. I didn't have a support system around me. It's made me think a lot on how much we need to talk about that, how much I need to reflect on that and reach out to others.
I loved The Conversation when it started on her website, I was thrilled when it got a short run on cable tv. I'm thrilled this book has finally come to fruition. I read it in one sitting not because it was easy to read but because I couldn't put it down. Because I found myself in the pages. I read aloud parts of one chapter to my son and he said "That sounds JUST like you." And that's the thing about Ms Amanda, she IS just like me. And she's probably just like YOU too. Amanda, you are a true inspiration. One day I hope to be able to ask you a question that makes you say "That's a very smart question". Thank you for this book.
I loved The Conversation when it started on her website, I was thrilled when it got a short run on cable tv. I'm thrilled this book has finally come to fruition. I read it in one sitting not because it was easy to read but because I couldn't put it down. Because I found myself in the pages. I read aloud parts of one chapter to my son and he said "That sounds JUST like you." And that's the thing about Ms Amanda, she IS just like me. And she's probably just like YOU too. Amanda, you are a true inspiration. One day I hope to be able to ask you a question that makes you say "That's a very smart question". Thank you for this book.
missmultitasking's review against another edition
2.0
Welcome to the White Rich Privileged Club! Aunque siempre es interesante leer las crónicas de una mujer resuelta, el nivel de privilegio que se respira de cada una de sus anécdotas acaba haciéndote chirriar los dientes de forma sonora.
Su mejor amiga es Gwyneth Paltrow. Supongo que no debería extrañarme todo esto.
Que conste que cuenta cosas interesantes. Tiene gracia, mucha cara y las cosas claras, así que puedes leer sobre depresión post-parto, relaciones tóxicas y aceptación del propio cuerpo de manera amena. Puede ser un libro divertido e instructivo si no llevara ya bastante auto-instrucción de casa y nada de lo que cuenta me impresionara demasiado.
Spoiler
Amanda de Cadenet tuvo que abandonar su acaudalado sueldo en Londres y mudarse a L.A. donde, no sólo encontró trabajo de fotógrafa para grandes marcas (¿¿Cómo??) sino que se casó con un guitarrista de una banda famosa. Pobre Amanda, los abusos de la droga que tuvo que sufrir mientras encontraba un trabajo tras otro para pagársela. Ha pasado por momentos chungos, suerte que sus amigas se podían quedar en su GUESTHOUSE todo el tiempo que fuera para ayudarla. Si las cosas se ponen muy muy MUY jodidas, se va al tráiler de los 50 que se compró y remodeló y tiene aparcado enfrente de su casa para solazarse. Y pobre del funcionario que se atreva a multarla por ello.Su mejor amiga es Gwyneth Paltrow. Supongo que no debería extrañarme todo esto.
Que conste que cuenta cosas interesantes. Tiene gracia, mucha cara y las cosas claras, así que puedes leer sobre depresión post-parto, relaciones tóxicas y aceptación del propio cuerpo de manera amena. Puede ser un libro divertido e instructivo si no llevara ya bastante auto-instrucción de casa y nada de lo que cuenta me impresionara demasiado.
achouz's review
5.0
Wow, this is such an enjoyable and incredibly quick read! I realized I yearned for every spare moment I got to read the book til the last page. This book really sets a higher standard bar for any feel-good book that I'm gonna read from now on. I love how real and honest and wild the author consistently keeps throughout every chapter. She's not afraid to tell the messiest parts of her life, which are ironically so relatable and works as a charm for not the book but herself too. She's a charming and greatly inspirational woman. She's successfully made me feel so much more at ease that I, my girl friends, any women I know around me, are not alone in the battle of finding their own identities and any issue we counter in life are nothing scarily strange or weird or too much to handle. Thank you Amanda! You got my solid 5*/5*