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zena_ryder's review against another edition
1.0
I really can't be bothered to read books that purport to be "scientific", but that don't provide proper notes and references. An author could just make up any old crap (or provide the spin they like best) and if they don't give references for their claims, why should I believe them?
I think it's great to write popular science books, but this shouldn't be at the expense of proper references. (If it makes a book too long, they could be put online.)
I think it's great to write popular science books, but this shouldn't be at the expense of proper references. (If it makes a book too long, they could be put online.)
dwheeler88's review against another edition
5.0
There are some spots that drag, and it certainly was not a book I could read cover-to-cover, but the information presented here is astounding.
Chapter 1: West Hill Public School in Toronto has 6th graders interacting with a 6 month old
• P16 If people are kind to us, our health tends to be good - but, as we will see, we can actually die from rejection and isolation.
• P24 mirroring guides the growth of empathy, choice, and self awareness
Chapter 2: Jeremy, the boy with a facial defect who gets over protected by his parents and can’t handle any form of stress
• P40 we need relationships to be healthy: physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. ... Seeing the face of a loved one nearby can lower blood pressure and levels of stress hormones
Chapter 3: Eugenia, raised in a Russian orphanage with not enough 1:1 connection to develop any attachment to other people
• P50 orphanages that are sterile and isolating are dangerous and sometimes deadly to babies and toddlers.
• P62-63 oxytocin/vasopressin literally cause monogamy, and blocking it causes social amnesia
• P68 so much in the brain required appropriate exposure at the right stage of development to function optimally
Chapter 4: Sam and Autism/Aspergers
Chapter 5: Danny and his ability to lie without missing a beat
• P100 learning to lie is an important milestone in our development of empathy
• P114 by age 4, most of the brain’s structural growth has taken place
Chapter 6: Ryan’s denial of caregiver attachment and how he became a bully and sexual abuser
• P129 the way a mother treats a baby early in life literally affects which dna gets transcribed and the physiological path the brain & body take
• P130 the more nurturant moms gave their babies greater ability to soothe themselves
Chapter 7: Trinity, the oldest of 8 full siblings + 9 other half siblings
• P155 in the face of inescapable trama, the brain does the opposite of fight/flight. It slows blood flow and heart rate and decreased memory function.
Chapter 8: Alyson and her ability to blend into whichever social group would accept her
• P178 the role of extended family, especially the mother’s may be more significant in child rearing than having the father around
• P182-3 Peer pressure is ridiculously powerful: people give obviously wrong answers or seriously injure an outsider
• P189 teens that follow the crowd tend to be healthier adults than those who ignore it.
• P192 juvenile prison doesn’t work
Chapter 9: Terrell, caught up in a crowd of boys who beat up a classmate
• p210 when a child’s needs aren’t cared for by the family, they will find somewhere else to “belong”
Chapter 10: Brandon, boy who was given TV instead of a parent
• P217 babies with clinically depressed mothers grow to have poorer language skills, more prone to behavior problems, depression, addiction and other mental illnesses
• P220 each hour watching baby Einstein or similar educational videos was linked with 6-8 fewer vocabulary words compared with infants who didn’t watch...by 2 yrs old, 90% watch 2-3 hrs per day
Chapter 11: Brenda, Mormon child bride and why we “follow the leader”
• P 244 the higher your social status the healthier you tend to be
• P254 chronic stress reduces your immune system response
Chapter 12: Asdis, Islandic mom vs the average American mom
• P279 many of the worlds “trouble spots” are marked by the largest gaps between rich and poor
• P282 greater income inequality is linked with shorter life span and higher rate infant death
Chapter 13: The Conclusion/Wrap Up
Chapter 1: West Hill Public School in Toronto has 6th graders interacting with a 6 month old
• P16 If people are kind to us, our health tends to be good - but, as we will see, we can actually die from rejection and isolation.
• P24 mirroring guides the growth of empathy, choice, and self awareness
Chapter 2: Jeremy, the boy with a facial defect who gets over protected by his parents and can’t handle any form of stress
• P40 we need relationships to be healthy: physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. ... Seeing the face of a loved one nearby can lower blood pressure and levels of stress hormones
Chapter 3: Eugenia, raised in a Russian orphanage with not enough 1:1 connection to develop any attachment to other people
• P50 orphanages that are sterile and isolating are dangerous and sometimes deadly to babies and toddlers.
• P62-63 oxytocin/vasopressin literally cause monogamy, and blocking it causes social amnesia
• P68 so much in the brain required appropriate exposure at the right stage of development to function optimally
Chapter 4: Sam and Autism/Aspergers
Chapter 5: Danny and his ability to lie without missing a beat
• P100 learning to lie is an important milestone in our development of empathy
• P114 by age 4, most of the brain’s structural growth has taken place
Chapter 6: Ryan’s denial of caregiver attachment and how he became a bully and sexual abuser
• P129 the way a mother treats a baby early in life literally affects which dna gets transcribed and the physiological path the brain & body take
• P130 the more nurturant moms gave their babies greater ability to soothe themselves
Chapter 7: Trinity, the oldest of 8 full siblings + 9 other half siblings
• P155 in the face of inescapable trama, the brain does the opposite of fight/flight. It slows blood flow and heart rate and decreased memory function.
Chapter 8: Alyson and her ability to blend into whichever social group would accept her
• P178 the role of extended family, especially the mother’s may be more significant in child rearing than having the father around
• P182-3 Peer pressure is ridiculously powerful: people give obviously wrong answers or seriously injure an outsider
• P189 teens that follow the crowd tend to be healthier adults than those who ignore it.
• P192 juvenile prison doesn’t work
Chapter 9: Terrell, caught up in a crowd of boys who beat up a classmate
• p210 when a child’s needs aren’t cared for by the family, they will find somewhere else to “belong”
Chapter 10: Brandon, boy who was given TV instead of a parent
• P217 babies with clinically depressed mothers grow to have poorer language skills, more prone to behavior problems, depression, addiction and other mental illnesses
• P220 each hour watching baby Einstein or similar educational videos was linked with 6-8 fewer vocabulary words compared with infants who didn’t watch...by 2 yrs old, 90% watch 2-3 hrs per day
Chapter 11: Brenda, Mormon child bride and why we “follow the leader”
• P 244 the higher your social status the healthier you tend to be
• P254 chronic stress reduces your immune system response
Chapter 12: Asdis, Islandic mom vs the average American mom
• P279 many of the worlds “trouble spots” are marked by the largest gaps between rich and poor
• P282 greater income inequality is linked with shorter life span and higher rate infant death
Chapter 13: The Conclusion/Wrap Up
blurrybug's review against another edition
4.0
Like their other book I really liked this one, this is 4,5 star read for me.
I found the stories engaging, making good examples for the different studies they are discussing and the different cases.
This also made me realise how much I am missing out on communication with others. The amount facial expressions and body language means to people make me feel like I'm missing out. I'm sure I show it in other ways.
If you're going to be anything today be kind and do kind things.
I found the stories engaging, making good examples for the different studies they are discussing and the different cases.
This also made me realise how much I am missing out on communication with others. The amount facial expressions and body language means to people make me feel like I'm missing out. I'm sure I show it in other ways.
If you're going to be anything today be kind and do kind things.
lory_enterenchanted's review against another edition
This is such an important topic and the research is fascinating. I would like to see more rigor in the thinking and clarity of definition around the huge areas of "empathy" and "love." While the authors made a convincing case that humans need closeness and connection to grow healthy and lead stable, productive lives, there is also such a thing as unhealthy closeness (enmeshment) and real problems that result from it. The "codependency movement" is briefly criticized at the end of the book as aiming to push people towards independence at the expense of relationship, but I think really it's all about establishing healthy boundaries and a balance between self and other.
Anyway, there is no shortage of research to do in this field ,and I hope we'll be hearing much more about it. The main challenge we seem to face today is to expand the ways we evolved for surviving together in small, close-knit groups, into seeing ourselves as members of a global family, humanity as a whole. Many people are distressed by the hugeness of this and close themselves off in narrowly defined groups, going with the old way of feeling secure as "us" by battling a "them." Other forces are working strongly to splinter us even further, isolating and distancing us from one another and waling us off behind non-human, mechanical barriers. But the stories of healing in this book - and also the warning images of people damaged beyond repair - can inspire us to learn from the wisdom in the very structure of our brains and bodies, to recover the human bonds of love and caring that made us strong, and to evolve further into a species that uniquely is able to love out of freedom and knowledge, rather than merely by instinct.
Anyway, there is no shortage of research to do in this field ,and I hope we'll be hearing much more about it. The main challenge we seem to face today is to expand the ways we evolved for surviving together in small, close-knit groups, into seeing ourselves as members of a global family, humanity as a whole. Many people are distressed by the hugeness of this and close themselves off in narrowly defined groups, going with the old way of feeling secure as "us" by battling a "them." Other forces are working strongly to splinter us even further, isolating and distancing us from one another and waling us off behind non-human, mechanical barriers. But the stories of healing in this book - and also the warning images of people damaged beyond repair - can inspire us to learn from the wisdom in the very structure of our brains and bodies, to recover the human bonds of love and caring that made us strong, and to evolve further into a species that uniquely is able to love out of freedom and knowledge, rather than merely by instinct.
refractedtruth's review against another edition
5.0
Maia expertly defines the importance of empathy and relationships in this book. I learned much from this, and I recommend it to everyone.