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663 reviews for:
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Sherry Argov
3.43 AVERAGE
663 reviews for:
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Sherry Argov
3.43 AVERAGE
informative
medium-paced
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
An entertaining and empowering read
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Okay, where do I even start…
If you’re a millennial or Gen Z – only read this book if you’re ultra open-minded. Seriously. I’m being honest with you: 80% of the content is the exact opposite of what younger generations believe.
Is the book kind of old? Yep.
Are some parts outdated or questionable? Also yes.
Should you blindly follow every bit of advice without using your brain? NO. Obviously not.
But funny enough – that’s exactly what the book keeps repeating (and believe me, this author LOVES repetition):
You have to THINK for yourself.
You can’t outsource that responsibility and then blame someone else.
You have to THINK. REFLECT. DECIDE what makes sense to you and what doesn’t.
Not everything in the book resonated with me.
Some statements were straight-up weird, and others went completely against my own moral compass.
The book focuses heavily on what it’s like to be a single woman – which means there’s a huge gap when it comes to women in long-term relationships, married women, or moms. That side is barely touched. And honestly, that’s where things get interesting.
I mean, just because you’ve been dating a guy for a year… that’s not success, happiness, or deep love – right?
Still… I learned a few things.
And I HATE admitting this, but I had some legit "aha! moments“.
Damn, I was so sure men weren’t like that – but honestly? Some of it made uncomfortable sense.
The book strongly pushes the idea that “men only want one thing.”
And yeah – to a certain age? I kind of believe it.
But what about in their 30s, 40s, 50s+? Do they never grow up? Never reflect? Never mature emotionally?
Apparently not – at least according to this author.
I accidentally spoiled myself a little reading reviews, and a lot of people said:
“The men interviewed in this book are selfish a**holes.”
(Not my words… but like… yeah? Were you surprised??)
It’s clearly a certain type of guy being quoted here. Not all men think like this. Not all of them have the emotional intelligence of a potato.
But let’s be real – probably more than we’d like to admit… *side eye*
I laughed, I rolled my eyes, I learned something.
And to be honest? That’s more than I can say about most self-help books.
Don’t take everything as THE ONE AND ONLY TRUTH, but DO remember the key points (out of this book obv):
You are your own #1. You don’t need a man. He’s a bonus – not your universe.
Have a life outside of your relationship.
Don’t neglect your friends.
Men often hear “blah blah” – their attention span is ZERO. Actions >>> words.
Have some damn self-respect.
Don’t bend over backwards and stop being a people-pleaser. Decide what YOU want.
Don’t let yourself get played. Men show you exactly who they are. Believe their actions.
Recommended and eye-opening.
If you’re a millennial or Gen Z – only read this book if you’re ultra open-minded. Seriously. I’m being honest with you: 80% of the content is the exact opposite of what younger generations believe.
Is the book kind of old? Yep.
Are some parts outdated or questionable? Also yes.
Should you blindly follow every bit of advice without using your brain? NO. Obviously not.
But funny enough – that’s exactly what the book keeps repeating (and believe me, this author LOVES repetition):
You have to THINK for yourself.
You can’t outsource that responsibility and then blame someone else.
You have to THINK. REFLECT. DECIDE what makes sense to you and what doesn’t.
Not everything in the book resonated with me.
Some statements were straight-up weird, and others went completely against my own moral compass.
The book focuses heavily on what it’s like to be a single woman – which means there’s a huge gap when it comes to women in long-term relationships, married women, or moms. That side is barely touched. And honestly, that’s where things get interesting.
I mean, just because you’ve been dating a guy for a year… that’s not success, happiness, or deep love – right?
Still… I learned a few things.
And I HATE admitting this, but I had some legit "aha! moments“.
Damn, I was so sure men weren’t like that – but honestly? Some of it made uncomfortable sense.
The book strongly pushes the idea that “men only want one thing.”
And yeah – to a certain age? I kind of believe it.
But what about in their 30s, 40s, 50s+? Do they never grow up? Never reflect? Never mature emotionally?
Apparently not – at least according to this author.
I accidentally spoiled myself a little reading reviews, and a lot of people said:
“The men interviewed in this book are selfish a**holes.”
(Not my words… but like… yeah? Were you surprised??)
It’s clearly a certain type of guy being quoted here. Not all men think like this. Not all of them have the emotional intelligence of a potato.
But let’s be real – probably more than we’d like to admit… *side eye*
I laughed, I rolled my eyes, I learned something.
And to be honest? That’s more than I can say about most self-help books.
Don’t take everything as THE ONE AND ONLY TRUTH, but DO remember the key points (out of this book obv):
You are your own #1. You don’t need a man. He’s a bonus – not your universe.
Have a life outside of your relationship.
Don’t neglect your friends.
Men often hear “blah blah” – their attention span is ZERO. Actions >>> words.
Have some damn self-respect.
Don’t bend over backwards and stop being a people-pleaser. Decide what YOU want.
Don’t let yourself get played. Men show you exactly who they are. Believe their actions.
Recommended and eye-opening.
This book was written by a woman but why do I feel like I'm being mansplained to. A lot of what she was saying I'm like okay I know what you're trying to get at but why are you framing it that way
There were a few things I agreed with so I'll give those a shout out.
1) dont got the whole nine yards for a man right away, make him prove himself, give him the time to earn it "unconditional love is a beautiful thing. Just be sure to give it after your conditions have been met"
2) "when a woman acts as though she's capable of everything, she gets stuck doing everything" you are capable of doing anything but don't allow a man to take advantage of that
3) "let him work on his own stuff. If he can't treat himself well he'll never treat you well" yes be supportive but it is not your job to develop this man
4) "this is your life...and it's too precious to waste"
5) "if he's too busy and you've already tried telling him how you feel, it's time to show him with your actions that he will no longer be dictating the terms" he can do what he wants but here are the conditions if he wants me to be involved. This is where "if he wanted to he would" comes into play
Okay now for the many atrocities this book committed
Multiple times it's subtly degrading to women who don't fit the societal standard of beauty
1) she's talking about a guy showing a pic of his amazing ex gf and basically insinuates that the girl is ugly and that her personality was why he liked her. Like I get what she's trying to say. Personality and being good company is more important than looks. But the example she gives insults the other woman and she didn't have to do that.
2) subtle slut shaming, "he wants to explore new terrain not trampled on by many men before him" like wtf did I just read?!
3) subtle fat shaming, saying the girl in porn screaming yes right there is probably "a fully dressed 400lb woman in a recording studio" like? Why does her being 400lbs matter??
So much of this book is doing mental gymnastics and learning how to gentle parent men. Tells women to play dumb so men can feel manly not very empowering if you ask me
One example was a girl killing a snake and her bf didn't feel manly because of it so he couldn't get hard? Skill issue
She wants us to praise male mediocrity and even incompetence but then ultimately you're still doing the work
The CONSENT issues oh my god
1) "this is not the time to say no I'm just not ready" yes it is
2) "you can't titillate him to the point of no return and then say no I just don't feel right about it" yes you can!
3) "if you pull the sexual plug at the last minute he'll label you a tease" then so be it
Also "if you tell a man you've only had three lovers and you're older than a fetus, he'll think you're lying" 1) a fetus?? Ew 2) some of us are losers
The references in this book are ANCIENT. vcr???
She has a bunch of quotes from men and my god some of them are abominable
1) "if a woman is uncomfortable or bothered, he should be able to feel it without her saying a word" these are the same guys who will turn around and say they're not mind readers
2) guy admits to checking out women he isn't even attracted to just to make his girlfriend insecure. INTENTIONALLY that's bordering on emotional abuse
3) guy saying he doesn't wanna see your period products when he's at your place GROW THE FUCK UP
4) this one is HORRIFIC "the fear every guy has is that after marriage the girl is going to cut her hair off, gain a bunch of weight, and stop putting out" cool so your love is conditional
Wtf did I just read
There were a few things I agreed with so I'll give those a shout out.
1) dont got the whole nine yards for a man right away, make him prove himself, give him the time to earn it "unconditional love is a beautiful thing. Just be sure to give it after your conditions have been met"
2) "when a woman acts as though she's capable of everything, she gets stuck doing everything" you are capable of doing anything but don't allow a man to take advantage of that
3) "let him work on his own stuff. If he can't treat himself well he'll never treat you well" yes be supportive but it is not your job to develop this man
4) "this is your life...and it's too precious to waste"
5) "if he's too busy and you've already tried telling him how you feel, it's time to show him with your actions that he will no longer be dictating the terms" he can do what he wants but here are the conditions if he wants me to be involved. This is where "if he wanted to he would" comes into play
Okay now for the many atrocities this book committed
Multiple times it's subtly degrading to women who don't fit the societal standard of beauty
1) she's talking about a guy showing a pic of his amazing ex gf and basically insinuates that the girl is ugly and that her personality was why he liked her. Like I get what she's trying to say. Personality and being good company is more important than looks. But the example she gives insults the other woman and she didn't have to do that.
2) subtle slut shaming, "he wants to explore new terrain not trampled on by many men before him" like wtf did I just read?!
3) subtle fat shaming, saying the girl in porn screaming yes right there is probably "a fully dressed 400lb woman in a recording studio" like? Why does her being 400lbs matter??
So much of this book is doing mental gymnastics and learning how to gentle parent men. Tells women to play dumb so men can feel manly not very empowering if you ask me
One example was a girl killing a snake and her bf didn't feel manly because of it so he couldn't get hard? Skill issue
She wants us to praise male mediocrity and even incompetence but then ultimately you're still doing the work
The CONSENT issues oh my god
1) "this is not the time to say no I'm just not ready" yes it is
2) "you can't titillate him to the point of no return and then say no I just don't feel right about it" yes you can!
3) "if you pull the sexual plug at the last minute he'll label you a tease" then so be it
Also "if you tell a man you've only had three lovers and you're older than a fetus, he'll think you're lying" 1) a fetus?? Ew 2) some of us are losers
The references in this book are ANCIENT. vcr???
She has a bunch of quotes from men and my god some of them are abominable
1) "if a woman is uncomfortable or bothered, he should be able to feel it without her saying a word" these are the same guys who will turn around and say they're not mind readers
2) guy admits to checking out women he isn't even attracted to just to make his girlfriend insecure. INTENTIONALLY that's bordering on emotional abuse
3) guy saying he doesn't wanna see your period products when he's at your place GROW THE FUCK UP
4) this one is HORRIFIC "the fear every guy has is that after marriage the girl is going to cut her hair off, gain a bunch of weight, and stop putting out" cool so your love is conditional
Wtf did I just read
funny
informative
reflective
fast-paced
funny
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
Oh my god. I don't think I've hated a book more than this one.
The premise of the book itself - holding your own in a relationship, being an independent woman, is completely fine. But damn does it go the wrong way about it completely. The first few chapters are okay and are great at promoting independence, confidence, self-love, and power, but the 'Dumb Fox' chapter and onwards, is where it gets messy.
Not only does the idea of the 'Dumb Fox' reject the rest of the book, but enables women playing 'dumb' to reclaim their power. As someone who prides themselves on being an intelligent and strong woman, I fucking hate this idea. And personally, I feel sad for anyone who happily considers themselves a dumb fox. Actually, sorry, I forgot that I shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve and be emotional. Supposedly, men are deterred and turned off by such a woman. Which leads me to the question - why do we care so much about what men want, need, and how to please them? I'd much rather invest that energy into myself. Although subtle, this book screams 'desperate for male attention and validation!'.
Argov supports the idea of games, manipulation, and trickery, to have men "eat from the palm of your hand". Good luck maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship this way. While I appreciate that this book is targeted toward the easily-moulded, pushover, "too nice" women in the dating scene, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice, and with being a strong woman. They are not mutually exclusive, and this book makes it seem that you must sacrifice being nice to hold down a partner.
Besides, the men she interviews in this book are absolute assholes anyway. I don't know what kind of men she was interviewing (she claims an age range of 18-70 year-old single, dating, and married men), but they are, in the nicest way possible, fuckwits.
- "If a woman doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, she comes off as less emotional and more appealing"
- "The childlike qualities in us [men] propel us to try to take advantage. It's a good thing to know the woman you love won't put up with it"
- "I think a woman who talks less is more attractive"
What. The. Fuck. I'm sorry, but from the perspective of someone in an incredibly healthy relationship for over a year, there is so much bullshit spilt all over this book. The right partner will not even think about taking advantage of you, and will love you for all that you are and all that you are not. My partner is completely accepting of how much I talk (I can go on forever), will hold me close whether I'm laughing and happy, or unstable, having a panic attack, and in tears - and won't judge either way.
The only line that I appreciated was "the best advice I ever heard is, don't take anyone else's advice", retrieved from an interview with Eddie Murphy. With this book, take what resonates, and discard the rest (which, unfortunately, was personally about 90% of it).
The premise of the book itself - holding your own in a relationship, being an independent woman, is completely fine. But damn does it go the wrong way about it completely. The first few chapters are okay and are great at promoting independence, confidence, self-love, and power, but the 'Dumb Fox' chapter and onwards, is where it gets messy.
Not only does the idea of the 'Dumb Fox' reject the rest of the book, but enables women playing 'dumb' to reclaim their power. As someone who prides themselves on being an intelligent and strong woman, I fucking hate this idea. And personally, I feel sad for anyone who happily considers themselves a dumb fox. Actually, sorry, I forgot that I shouldn't wear my heart on my sleeve and be emotional. Supposedly, men are deterred and turned off by such a woman. Which leads me to the question - why do we care so much about what men want, need, and how to please them? I'd much rather invest that energy into myself. Although subtle, this book screams 'desperate for male attention and validation!'.
Argov supports the idea of games, manipulation, and trickery, to have men "eat from the palm of your hand". Good luck maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship this way. While I appreciate that this book is targeted toward the easily-moulded, pushover, "too nice" women in the dating scene, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice, and with being a strong woman. They are not mutually exclusive, and this book makes it seem that you must sacrifice being nice to hold down a partner.
Besides, the men she interviews in this book are absolute assholes anyway. I don't know what kind of men she was interviewing (she claims an age range of 18-70 year-old single, dating, and married men), but they are, in the nicest way possible, fuckwits.
- "If a woman doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, she comes off as less emotional and more appealing"
- "The childlike qualities in us [men] propel us to try to take advantage. It's a good thing to know the woman you love won't put up with it"
- "I think a woman who talks less is more attractive"
What. The. Fuck. I'm sorry, but from the perspective of someone in an incredibly healthy relationship for over a year, there is so much bullshit spilt all over this book. The right partner will not even think about taking advantage of you, and will love you for all that you are and all that you are not. My partner is completely accepting of how much I talk (I can go on forever), will hold me close whether I'm laughing and happy, or unstable, having a panic attack, and in tears - and won't judge either way.
The only line that I appreciated was "the best advice I ever heard is, don't take anyone else's advice", retrieved from an interview with Eddie Murphy. With this book, take what resonates, and discard the rest (which, unfortunately, was personally about 90% of it).
funny
informative
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
medium-paced