Lots of memories - I was absorbed into the "pick up game" back hard in 2007.

Има някои нелоши наблюдения, но като цяло е за хора които са прекалено навътре в тая работа за моя вкус.

With plenty of evolutionary biology theory, dog training techniques, some NLP terms, and chess analogies, The Mystery Method teaches how to pick up girls, in the nerdiest way ever conceived. And it’s great.

Mystery started off as a magician, which requires the skill of approaching people in an unoffensive way while entertaining them, and then gained an interest in picking up women. He has spent many years of devoted, painstaking "research", as a sort of ethologist geek studying normal human beings and their mating process, and he has done a really good job condensing his many years of teaching into a small, entertaining book.

There are two objectives in life, Mystery explains, to survive and reproduce. Simple as that. Similar to his ethics, his methodology to pick up girls is also grounded in evolutionary biology and psychology.

Mystery uses all kinds of strange terms and psychology jargon, displaying graphs, etc... Some illustrations seemed like satire, making it unnecessarily complex. I get the feeling Mystery is deliberately trying to sound weird to please what he figured would be the target audience. For instance, he describes “making her like you” as “triggering her attraction brain-circuits” - perhaps as a way to emphasise the predictability of the response.

There is no doubt that Mystery is a master at meeting women, and he packed the book with good advice. The book focuses quite a bit on the micro-techniques to come off as ever so higher value, but he's also advocating a much more holistic approach, for instance, live your dream! Have a cool life, don’t make pickup your whole identity, etc...

Mystery wants to leave as few things to chance as possible and therefore has provided the most systematic way of looking at the process of picking up girls I've seen.

A good pickup consists of 1) opening and generating attraction, 2) creating comfort, and then 3) seduce her sexually, in that order. To do that you must learn how to demonstrate high value (DHV) quickly and consistently, pass her congruence tests, maintaining a strong frame, until you get enough indicators of interests (IOIs), to move onto the next stage and create comfort and continually test her willingness to comply to your requests, in a gradually increasing degree, until sex.

There is a large emphasis on comfort. Don't be just another guy who was wacky and cool in the club. Make her get to know you. Also, avoid super-fast one night stands. Mystery advocates creating genuine connections, and delay seduction after you get to know each other, so she won't regret sleeping with you and will be happy to meet you the day after. This advice is novel to me from pickup literature. Real players must have the self-restraint to delay sex before enough comfort is established, which typically occurs in about seven hours, also called the seven-hour rule.

Mystery advocates an indirect approach, not explicitly hitting on the "target," but instead, demonstrates high value and keeps validation and attention just beyond reach for her, and continually testing her compliance level.

Some points I liked in particular:

"Smile. Guys that don't have success with women don't smile."

Become a talkative, sociable guy with an exciting life, invite her to come along.

When she asks what you do, consider why she’s asking. Is it just to make conversation? Does she want to get to know you? Or genuinely cares about the way in which you earn money? If she wants to know you, tell her the process from childhood and how I got here. You become more relatable that way.

Don't get stuck up on one conversational thread. When people are afraid to change topics, they care too much. Have multiple threads going. Don’t be afraid to cut boring topics short abruptly.

If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything.
lighthearted reflective

A blueprint book, which gives insight into one of the first PUA, and the advices may be little outdated, all of the modern PUA tactics have its roots from this book.

Dnf.

My work colleague suggested that I read this book and apply it to non-dating situations. I was at first very contemptuous of the topic, but discovered that I actually find the book highly entertaining! It talks about body language and group dynamics in a clear way that I have not found in other books on those topics.

Even "What Every Body Tells You" (by an ex-FBI agent) was not as clear in describing the nuances of human dynamics between strangers meeting for the first time.

I marked this to not go into my Facebook feed, but Goodreads is really buggy on that front, so I'm sure that after i stop vigilantly checking, it will get posted there and I will get a million teasing comments.

This book is a great way to get out there and enjoy yourself. A lot of the routine may not work anymore but the fundamentals will do wonders. Use this book to go out there and connect with people (girl or guy).

Great book on social dynamics by the guy who made the famous TV series some time ago.

After learning about "negging" by watching the TV show Silicon Valley, my boyfriend let me know that there is a whole group of pick-up artists who have a whole system for bedding pretty much any woman and that it includes "negs." Once he explained it to me a bit, I started to see it everywhere! And I decided to read a book that would explain this method so that I would not be blind to it.

Honestly, I expected this book to be a lot more offensive than it was. I never saw Mystery's show and the only experience I have with him and his method is this very book. So any statements I make about his methods are based entirely off this book and nothing else. For the most part, I think his methods are fine. I have no doubt they're effective and I think that men being a bit more wise to what women are looking for (namely, high social value) is helpful to both men and women. I would advise my male friends who struggle to pick up women to read the book. On its own, I don't think the method needs to be used unethically.

However, it COULD be used unethically. In my opinion, if you are a man reading this book, you can then choose to be ethical or to be unethical. The book won't make that decision for you. You could bed a lot of women, you could break hearts. Or you could find true love.

There are a couple things that don't make much sense to me. First, how do you determine who is a 9 or 10 on the attractiveness scale and who is a 6, 7, or 8? Like, for instance, I feel like I'm a 9 or 10! But because I'm not basic, I don't have lots of make-up, fake nails, I'm not tall, and I'm just clearly not a person who works to make sure you think I'm a 10. But there are a lot of people who find that more attractive. So, should you neg me? Maybe, if I'm ignoring you. But otherwise, no. I think that, considering the subjectiveness of a 1-10 atractiveness scale, it makes more sense to only neg women who ignore you or in some other way projects that they think their social value is higher than yours is.

Lots of the negs I find pretty condescending and although I might think you had higher social value if you used them, for me personally, that is not likely to be to your benefit. Some of them are so stupid that I'll think you're stupid if you use them, and then I won't have interest in you because I only like intelligent men. But that brings me to the other flaw of this method, in my opinion: it would work great on basic women by basic men, but if you want a woman who is intelligent, cultured, or unconventional, you'd need to really adjust this method. Mystery is probably someone who sucks and goes for sucky women, which is fine. If this book had been written by someone more interesting, the examples of gambits you can use to demonstrate your own higher social value might be less basic.

On the other hand, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe all this shit would work on the truly cool and interesting women as well. I don't know and I can't test it because I'm not a man. However, in the event that I decided to try to date women instead of men, I do think that a lot of this would be effective for me.