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3.48 AVERAGE
3.48 AVERAGE
I remember receiving this book as a gift from a close friend of mine. She had all the right intentions by selecting this for me; we had both missed out on the dating scene well into our late teens and the humour seemed to reflect our own. However, I found the writing style to fall short and couldn't keep myself invested long enough to pick it back up after a couple years of neglect...my bookmark was still on page 80 though I'm surprised I even made it that far. Perhaps I just got this at the wrong time so I'm putting it on my its-not-you-its-me shelf as well, I imagine it's relatable to some girls.
Perhaps I'm not the age demographic for this autobiographical dating memoir, but I did not enjoy this book. I really wanted to give up on this book. It didn't really capture my attention. I picked it up because I thought it would be relatable, given the title seems to describe me in a sense, but I didn't get what I had hoped out of it. It wasn't funny, amusing, or particularly interesting, perhaps because I relate too much.
The book is realistic. I can relate to many of her internal conflicts and struggles. I was hoping for a happy ending, or at least some insight, which the book didn't offer. I struggle to find the purpose of the book, is it for all of us on the same boat and so we feel less lonely? I mean, media portrays everyone in happy relations, and many of them by the time they're in their late twenties, so I suppose it is nice to know that there are others in the same boat.
The title is a misnomer, her life so far without a date. It's established that she went on dates, she just didn't have a boyfriend for quarter of a century, which are two entirely different situations. And I would know.
The story starts with her in childhood, how she was boy crazy, tried to capture their attention, which persisted until adulthood. There were many attempts, and "hanging outs" (literally hanging out, not people calling dates by something different), and some which seems to be a date. There are miscommunication, struggles to find the secret code to being in a relationship, wondering why does everyone else have a handbook to go by as they're going on dates, falling into and out of relationships, and you're here wondering what went wrong.
And then everyone is talking about this online dating thing. You struggle with it, I mean, it conveys a certain something. Your friends kind of force you into it (with the best intentions) and even joins you on it! You deactivate because you weren't feeling it, and it's just not for you. And then you realize you're getting up there in age, have never really dated, and decided why not, let's give online dating a try, real life isn't working out.
This time, you put effort into it. You try to make the best profile, that sounds like you, with enough quirks to make you interesting, but not too weird. And, it sucks. People suck. Dating sucks. And you continue to plod along, hoping for something. The conversations fizzle, but eventually you go on a date and it was okay.
Oh wait, it's a review. The author experienced the same exact thing too. In the same order.
And then you get to the end of the book, hoping for some wisdom, some insight, the handbook! But alas, your best friend who is a "lighthouse" and was in a committed relationship for years suddenly isn't in it, and you will all struggle together, but it's okay, because you and your best friend will be in the city and living together. Huh, at least her best friend is with her. That was the uplifting end.
I enjoyed the importance and presence of her friends (her cabinet) so to speak. How she would freak out and run every message and concern and fleeting thought by them. And they, the patient consultants, would patiently trying to explain how things work, and not shake you in exasperation. The bits about friendship were the highlights of this story, and the description was so nuanced and relatable. Would it be possible to have friendship as the main point, and the background be the dating struggle?
The online dating section was also much more relatable than the rest of the book, probably because anyone who has tried it would know exactly what she's talking about, regardless of the chosen platform/service. The archetypes. Now, I want a story from the male perspective, I wonder what kind of female online dating personas there are...anyway, her internal conflict and struggle with online dating was visceral. I had similar thoughts, and know of someone who voiced the same concerns.
The highlight of the online dating chapter was that her first (and only?) online date went on for 5 hours. That also sounds familiar. What? There are missing handbooks, didn't get the memo for a normal date length. And afterwards, her friends were all waiting, squeeing, and clamoring to know what happened? How was it? It went on for so long, it must have been amazing! Nah, it was lackluster, but it just kind of went on and didn't know how to stop it. So, really, when one says, "it's okay", it was just exactly that. Okay.
And unfortunately, just like my experience with this book. It was okay. I plodded through, hoping that something would spark and it would lead to something, but the magic didn't happen for me.
The ending was lackluster, maybe my expectations aren't realistic, I was hoping for some magic solution or something with closure, so it could feel like there is hope, but the book didn't offer that. In that way, perhaps it is very good, just like life, and people who ghost you, there is sometimes no real closure, and you're just left hanging for a little bit more.
I find Aziz Ansari's book, Modern Romance, to be a much better and interesting read. It was overall a singles lament as well, and didn't offer a magical solutions, but it was interesting, well-researched/documented, and have suggestions.
At the end, the author came to the conclusion that her life had many turning points in her relationship with males. Her life would have been very different if she were braver, took the plunge, etc. but she doesn't regret her actions, or lack thereof.
Was it awful and the worst book I ever read? No, I finished it after all. Would I recommend it? Maaaaaaaybe, to someone in high school or before starting college.
The book is realistic. I can relate to many of her internal conflicts and struggles. I was hoping for a happy ending, or at least some insight, which the book didn't offer. I struggle to find the purpose of the book, is it for all of us on the same boat and so we feel less lonely? I mean, media portrays everyone in happy relations, and many of them by the time they're in their late twenties, so I suppose it is nice to know that there are others in the same boat.
The title is a misnomer, her life so far without a date. It's established that she went on dates, she just didn't have a boyfriend for quarter of a century, which are two entirely different situations. And I would know.
The story starts with her in childhood, how she was boy crazy, tried to capture their attention, which persisted until adulthood. There were many attempts, and "hanging outs" (literally hanging out, not people calling dates by something different), and some which seems to be a date. There are miscommunication, struggles to find the secret code to being in a relationship, wondering why does everyone else have a handbook to go by as they're going on dates, falling into and out of relationships, and you're here wondering what went wrong.
And then everyone is talking about this online dating thing. You struggle with it, I mean, it conveys a certain something. Your friends kind of force you into it (with the best intentions) and even joins you on it! You deactivate because you weren't feeling it, and it's just not for you. And then you realize you're getting up there in age, have never really dated, and decided why not, let's give online dating a try, real life isn't working out.
This time, you put effort into it. You try to make the best profile, that sounds like you, with enough quirks to make you interesting, but not too weird. And, it sucks. People suck. Dating sucks. And you continue to plod along, hoping for something. The conversations fizzle, but eventually you go on a date and it was okay.
Oh wait, it's a review. The author experienced the same exact thing too. In the same order.
And then you get to the end of the book, hoping for some wisdom, some insight, the handbook! But alas, your best friend who is a "lighthouse" and was in a committed relationship for years suddenly isn't in it, and you will all struggle together, but it's okay, because you and your best friend will be in the city and living together. Huh, at least her best friend is with her. That was the uplifting end.
I enjoyed the importance and presence of her friends (her cabinet) so to speak. How she would freak out and run every message and concern and fleeting thought by them. And they, the patient consultants, would patiently trying to explain how things work, and not shake you in exasperation. The bits about friendship were the highlights of this story, and the description was so nuanced and relatable. Would it be possible to have friendship as the main point, and the background be the dating struggle?
The online dating section was also much more relatable than the rest of the book, probably because anyone who has tried it would know exactly what she's talking about, regardless of the chosen platform/service. The archetypes. Now, I want a story from the male perspective, I wonder what kind of female online dating personas there are...anyway, her internal conflict and struggle with online dating was visceral. I had similar thoughts, and know of someone who voiced the same concerns.
The highlight of the online dating chapter was that her first (and only?) online date went on for 5 hours. That also sounds familiar. What? There are missing handbooks, didn't get the memo for a normal date length. And afterwards, her friends were all waiting, squeeing, and clamoring to know what happened? How was it? It went on for so long, it must have been amazing! Nah, it was lackluster, but it just kind of went on and didn't know how to stop it. So, really, when one says, "it's okay", it was just exactly that. Okay.
And unfortunately, just like my experience with this book. It was okay. I plodded through, hoping that something would spark and it would lead to something, but the magic didn't happen for me.
The ending was lackluster, maybe my expectations aren't realistic, I was hoping for some magic solution or something with closure, so it could feel like there is hope, but the book didn't offer that. In that way, perhaps it is very good, just like life, and people who ghost you, there is sometimes no real closure, and you're just left hanging for a little bit more.
I find Aziz Ansari's book, Modern Romance, to be a much better and interesting read. It was overall a singles lament as well, and didn't offer a magical solutions, but it was interesting, well-researched/documented, and have suggestions.
At the end, the author came to the conclusion that her life had many turning points in her relationship with males. Her life would have been very different if she were braver, took the plunge, etc. but she doesn't regret her actions, or lack thereof.
Was it awful and the worst book I ever read? No, I finished it after all. Would I recommend it? Maaaaaaaybe, to someone in high school or before starting college.
I finally finished this book...sort of, the last 2 chapters were kind of glanced over.
I had high hopes that this book would be funny and that as a person who was in a similar circumstance that I would find it relatable. That was not the case. First the title implies the author never once went on a date which is incorrect and I found her so very shallow and juvenille that I began to wonder how that ever happened. The sentiments found within are to me the same things one might have felt in junior high school where you're jealous of your best friend's boyfriend because she now doesn't spend as much time with you. This is something I did when I was 13, not 25.
Perhaps a person still in their 20s might enjoy this more but for me it was horrible.
I had high hopes that this book would be funny and that as a person who was in a similar circumstance that I would find it relatable. That was not the case. First the title implies the author never once went on a date which is incorrect and I found her so very shallow and juvenille that I began to wonder how that ever happened. The sentiments found within are to me the same things one might have felt in junior high school where you're jealous of your best friend's boyfriend because she now doesn't spend as much time with you. This is something I did when I was 13, not 25.
Perhaps a person still in their 20s might enjoy this more but for me it was horrible.
it felt kind of weird to read this now that Would You Rather is out, like maybe I should read that book instead?
this took me back a little bit to livejournal (i mean that in a good way).
this took me back a little bit to livejournal (i mean that in a good way).
You know sometimes you find a book and you think: "That character is me?" This was it it, only that the person in the book is real, which makes it even better. There is someone out there who is like me, who understands why I react to things the way I do. There were a lot of sentiments that I agreed on so so much. And so many things Katie said she couldn't understand, in which I 100% agreed. It's weird. It's as if we're a subspecies of humans. I don't know. It felt really good reading this though. I feel less alone, less crazy and more normal now.
I mostly really liked this book. The growing up parts were really relatable and Katie has a mouth on her like I think we'd be friends. I guess my review is only partial... Like her story. I felt towards the end, her attitude was a little immature. But then I remember she's 25. As Wendy Williams says, "dumb 25." So she can't really be blamed for her immaturity due to her obvious lack of some life experiences aka having a boyfriend. But I did find the chapter about being secretly but not so secretly happy her friend was single again kind of annoying. But I do hope to read a follow up book by her... Hopefully about her getting married someday. Not that everyone needs to get married but I would be sad for her if her next book was still about her lack of prospects. I'm rooting for her! I like her voice and her tone and look forward to reading more from her in the future.
This book was amazing! I loved how she was so honest about everything, and how she layed out her opinions and emotions right there on the table. I could relate to her story, which helped me realize that there are plenty of other females out there who have gone a good portion of their life single, and are proud of it.
I absolutely loved the first half of this book. Being the same age as the author, I couldn't help but relate to the situations and get excited every time she made a reference to something I also loved as a 10 year old girl. She even talks about the couples skate at the local roller rink!! Once she hit the college years, the book started to lose me a bit. However, I love the perspective. She is not apologizing for being single. She is who she is and is completely fulfilled without having to be reliant on a boyfriend. A strong statement that I can respect, and definitely a view point that is healthier to have out there than that of the damsel in distress who is just waiting for her prince charming to come riding up on his white horse. In the end, I picked this book up for a book club, and I am glad that I did.
Sometimes there are books that speak to your soul, and this is one of them. Though I may not have Katie's single life expertise every story and moment of the book reminded me of a similar moment in my own life. And most importantly showed, that we are not alone. Nerdy, awkward girls can live and live wondrously and adventurously (within our safe boundaries).
For those out there that are feeling lost in a world of pairs and expectations, this book will be a wonderful reminder that there is no set checklist to life. Just go out there and live and be happy with your life that you are living.
For those out there that are feeling lost in a world of pairs and expectations, this book will be a wonderful reminder that there is no set checklist to life. Just go out there and live and be happy with your life that you are living.
As soon as I heard about this book and it’s adorable cover, I knew I had to read a copy of Never Have I Ever. See, reading the synopsis had me pumping my fist in solidarity, because much like Katie, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, and am now in my early ’20s. And I was pretty sure before reading that Katie’s story and my own would hold some sort of similarity. And of course, since Katie and I are vastly different, our stories are as well, but I was right: there was something charming and familiar to so many of Katie’s experiences.
Katie’s story is quite in-depth. She doesn’t leave a single boy out, starting from her childhood crushes and working her way up to young adulthood. Katie reminisced about her elementary school crushes with humor and a slight nostalgic quality that made me remember the first boy I ever liked as well, and I laughed along with Katie when things didn’t quite go as plan with all the elementary and middle school crushes.
Of course, as Katie lets us in to her relationship–or lack thereof–with boys growing up, things take a turn for the more serious as she gets older, as things do. I definitely felt for Katie at times and loved her quite humorous insights into the her heartbreak and decisions. I have to mention that Katie mentions her friends a lot, and I loved this! She frequently uses the examples of her friends to give the whole story more scope and contrast, and this at times saved Never Have I Ever for me. It was fascinating to see the realization of relationships that both Katie and her friends whose stories are partially told as well.
However, while I enjoyed Never Have I Ever, I did have some issues that really hindered my enjoyment. First was the fact I felt every story, every anecdote about every boy, was drawn out for the sake of humor. Sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn’t. I really like dry humor, and some of the humor used in this book made me laugh out loud. After a while, though, my thoughts would turn more towards, “Okay, I get it. This was bad news from the start. There’s been five jokes about it so far.” At a point, it felt like the humor was being pushed too hard and I was laughing not because of something actually funny, but because I wanted to move on.
I also thought things wrapped up a little too quickly. For the entire length of Never Have I Ever, Katie spares no detail in actions or in her feelings. And with a book like this, one sort of expects a great ending to wrap up everything up. I enjoyed the message Katie shared–she’s glad for some of the things that being single has given her, like the freedom of being able to do what she wants without factoring in other people, being able to come into her own, etc. But it all wrapped up a little too much on the surface level for me. All along the way I thought Katie was saying great things about her experiences, but at the end it only barely skimmed the surface.
Katie’s story is quite in-depth. She doesn’t leave a single boy out, starting from her childhood crushes and working her way up to young adulthood. Katie reminisced about her elementary school crushes with humor and a slight nostalgic quality that made me remember the first boy I ever liked as well, and I laughed along with Katie when things didn’t quite go as plan with all the elementary and middle school crushes.
Of course, as Katie lets us in to her relationship–or lack thereof–with boys growing up, things take a turn for the more serious as she gets older, as things do. I definitely felt for Katie at times and loved her quite humorous insights into the her heartbreak and decisions. I have to mention that Katie mentions her friends a lot, and I loved this! She frequently uses the examples of her friends to give the whole story more scope and contrast, and this at times saved Never Have I Ever for me. It was fascinating to see the realization of relationships that both Katie and her friends whose stories are partially told as well.
However, while I enjoyed Never Have I Ever, I did have some issues that really hindered my enjoyment. First was the fact I felt every story, every anecdote about every boy, was drawn out for the sake of humor. Sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn’t. I really like dry humor, and some of the humor used in this book made me laugh out loud. After a while, though, my thoughts would turn more towards, “Okay, I get it. This was bad news from the start. There’s been five jokes about it so far.” At a point, it felt like the humor was being pushed too hard and I was laughing not because of something actually funny, but because I wanted to move on.
I also thought things wrapped up a little too quickly. For the entire length of Never Have I Ever, Katie spares no detail in actions or in her feelings. And with a book like this, one sort of expects a great ending to wrap up everything up. I enjoyed the message Katie shared–she’s glad for some of the things that being single has given her, like the freedom of being able to do what she wants without factoring in other people, being able to come into her own, etc. But it all wrapped up a little too much on the surface level for me. All along the way I thought Katie was saying great things about her experiences, but at the end it only barely skimmed the surface.