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4.18 AVERAGE
4.18 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
Okay, here's where I'm at.
I wanted so much to love this book. I adore Jeffrey Marsh, I follow them on Twitter and their content is nothing short of inspiring and amazing.
I got this book because Jeffrey is nonbinary. My fiance is trans-nonbinary, and I'm transgender. I was hoping the book would be full of the incredible amount of love and positivity that Jeffrey exhibits online.
And it is. But there's a kicker.
1) This book perpetuates the incredibly toxic idea that to love someone else, you must first fall in love with yourself. I cannot condone this. This is a severe source of anxiety for me every day, and I will fight this toxic statement until the day I die.
2) This book is of the idea that 'you should just do it!', or, in other words, that changing is simply decision-making. And that's not the case. It felt, to me, very ableist. Sure, if you can overcome your fears and ideals and go live your best life by choice, do it! But there are people with real disorders, such as OCD, or PTSD for example that can't 'just do it', because to them, it feels as though just doing it is going to cause a chain reaction of bad events.
3) This book also is big on forgiveness, and the ideal that people do their best. Jeffrey mentions their parents, and how even though 'our' parents ideals and actions weren't perfect, they did their best. It's a generalization to parents. And no. I don't agree with this either. Because even if the parents did 'their best'- what good is that when their best was abuse that turned into a lifetime cycle of anxiety and dread? I will not excuse toxic or abusive behavior. Parents live for their children. Parents should redefine their best, we shouldn't have to forgive beatings, verbal abuse, lack of acceptance, or trying to fit into a mold.
So, yeah. The idea for the book was good. Jeffrey is great. But I can't recommend this book. It disappointed me a lot. Self-love is incredibly important, but not everyone can be forgiven, and not everyone fits into a checked box.
I wanted so much to love this book. I adore Jeffrey Marsh, I follow them on Twitter and their content is nothing short of inspiring and amazing.
I got this book because Jeffrey is nonbinary. My fiance is trans-nonbinary, and I'm transgender. I was hoping the book would be full of the incredible amount of love and positivity that Jeffrey exhibits online.
And it is. But there's a kicker.
1) This book perpetuates the incredibly toxic idea that to love someone else, you must first fall in love with yourself. I cannot condone this. This is a severe source of anxiety for me every day, and I will fight this toxic statement until the day I die.
2) This book is of the idea that 'you should just do it!', or, in other words, that changing is simply decision-making. And that's not the case. It felt, to me, very ableist. Sure, if you can overcome your fears and ideals and go live your best life by choice, do it! But there are people with real disorders, such as OCD, or PTSD for example that can't 'just do it', because to them, it feels as though just doing it is going to cause a chain reaction of bad events.
3) This book also is big on forgiveness, and the ideal that people do their best. Jeffrey mentions their parents, and how even though 'our' parents ideals and actions weren't perfect, they did their best. It's a generalization to parents. And no. I don't agree with this either. Because even if the parents did 'their best'- what good is that when their best was abuse that turned into a lifetime cycle of anxiety and dread? I will not excuse toxic or abusive behavior. Parents live for their children. Parents should redefine their best, we shouldn't have to forgive beatings, verbal abuse, lack of acceptance, or trying to fit into a mold.
So, yeah. The idea for the book was good. Jeffrey is great. But I can't recommend this book. It disappointed me a lot. Self-love is incredibly important, but not everyone can be forgiven, and not everyone fits into a checked box.
I wish I could go back in time and give this to any version of past me.
Reading this book is like getting a 192-page hug from your favorite person in the world. I've loved Jeffrey Marsh's positive message since first finding them on social media, and I'm so glad they've chosen to put down in words the process that they used to find happiness and live authentically as themself. I'm probably going to reread this book at least once a year, and that's saying a lot: I'm not one for self-help books. On second thought, that's probably why I like this book so much. It's not a self-help book. It's not about improving yourself. It's about self-acceptance and treating yourself with as much kindness as you'd extend to someone else.
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
emotional
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
I can't recommend this book enough! I foresee myself coming back to this book again and again because I think ,depending upon where I'm at in life, I will get something new out of it each time.
I sought out this book because I enjoy Jeffrey's social media presence, especially their videos on childhood trauma. This seems to be self-help written for a younger audience, and while well-done, does get a little repetitive. It's stuff I already know, but I still enjoy hearing their take on it. You can tell it's an earlier work, though, because they don't speak on their father's abuse (that I saw), and seem to have since changed the way they speak about their parents/childhood.
Jeffrey Marsh is a gift of a human being that our cynical and hateful society needs but doesn't deserve. I've been a fan of Marsh's videos for years now and was beside myself when I found out they had a book! It was a quick and easy read and very much in Marsh's voice.
That said, I don't think Marsh's message comes across as well in writing as it does in their videos. I wouldn't say they're a bad writer but I will say they're a much better orator. And while the book is advertised as being "for everyone," I think tweens and teens are the true intended audience. And I'm a bit older than that, haha, so that may be why some of the charm was lost on me.
Overall, however, it was fun to read, had just enough nuggets of profound wisdom to keep me from getting bored, and the added activities and exercises were a really nice touch. The historical hero/ine sections were great, too! I'd highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with their sense of self, but especially younger people and people in the LGBTQ+ community.
That said, I don't think Marsh's message comes across as well in writing as it does in their videos. I wouldn't say they're a bad writer but I will say they're a much better orator. And while the book is advertised as being "for everyone," I think tweens and teens are the true intended audience. And I'm a bit older than that, haha, so that may be why some of the charm was lost on me.
Overall, however, it was fun to read, had just enough nuggets of profound wisdom to keep me from getting bored, and the added activities and exercises were a really nice touch. The historical hero/ine sections were great, too! I'd highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with their sense of self, but especially younger people and people in the LGBTQ+ community.
more of a general self help book - if you're looking for something specifically about trans/queer stuff would recommend you and your gender identity or similar books