Reviews with content warning for Slavery - Une vie comme les autres

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Une vie comme les autres by Hanya Yanagihara

78 reviews

docrobreads's review against another edition

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dark sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.5

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posey_norgaard's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Heart wrenching tragic and painfully sad, this book is very hard to read at times. However, It is written in a way that makes you invested in the characters relationship to each other and you genuinely feel like they’re palpable people, it never feels forced in that way. It gives beautiful descriptions of everyday interactions and makes you appreciate, and feel for the found family it depicts. The times that made me emotional in this book was the love and care that these people show for each other.

You get submerged into these characters world view, and understand their decision, even when you were in opposition to them. I felt like you could tell who’s head you were in when the POV changed. I also found the life analogies to stay with me after closing the book.

It contains a lot of horrific and graphic trauma, and I would highly recommend to read trigger warnings before going into this book. I don’t think it romanticizes the trauma and it’s denseness to me, shows the thought that went into this book. It is not a book written for entertainment. I believe it is meant to convey the importance of human connection, through immense trauma, and how they shape us as humans, for better and for worse.

For being such a long book, I never found it to drag, it flowed very easily. The usage of language in this book is what really stood out to me and that is probably what I like the most. There were parts that I didn’t enjoy that are mostly all spoilers, and some of the ways that the book is building, felt a tad too much like trying to inflict as much pain as it could muster, where I would maybe have liked some more character arch instead.

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badspringbye's review against another edition

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dark slow-paced

2.0

I've been putting this on hold for four days now because I still can't decide whether to give it a 3 or 4 stars. now I'm giving it a 2.

it's hard given the fact that the writing style left a great impression on me, simple use of language yet sophisticated that it even raised my standards for books (not until I was tired of Jude's role). however, the whole point of the story is to make the readers experience the characters' torments and sufferings in their little lives, but it didn't work for me. the only moment that made me sob was

Harold's adaption of Jude

because I was touched, that one I could say is remarkable. everything before up to that part was a mess. I was agitated most of the time. and I read it for three weeks.

it started out so good that I thought I was going to see more of their journey as four but it was all jude jude willem jude jude with some andy and unfortunately jb and malcolm as extras. it's also too unbelievable to have all of those people around him who "love" him only to serve as enablers all throughout his life since they met him. man it took them decades.

some that are already mentioned in other reviews (just stating it again for no reason) that I think are Factual:
- all those miseries are way too impossible to happen in one person. on top of that, the perfect one, straight As in school, successful litigator and excellent at work but unable to decide things outside of his career.
- all of them turning a blind eye to the evidence of self abuse
- everyone is always saying "im sorry" repeatedly, thus, sorrow loses all meaning. too overused praised that the title could even be changed from A Little Life to I'm Sorry
- misery porn; jude being broken to fix; no character development; no help from others no finding ways to cope up with his illness just pain for the sake of pain;
- etc.

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sofiesreadingworld's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

*English review below*

Jude St.Francis is het meest mysterieuze lid van zijn beste vriendengroep die bestaat uit JB, Willem, Malcolm en zichzelf. Hij vertelt nooit veel over zijn eigen leven en weet het gesprek als een expert zo te laten lopen, dat het zeker niet om hem draait. We zien deze vier jongemannen opgroeien vanuit hun studententijd, waar ze elkaar in dezelfde kotenblok hebben leren kennen.

We leren al snel de achtergronden van de 3 vrienden kennen; JB groeit als jongen vaderloos op tussen de succesvolle vrouwen, Willem verliest op jonge leeftijd zijn hersendode broer en even later ook zijn norse ouders en Malcolm groeit op tussen het geld, wat hem op jongere leeftijd nog geen problemen oplevert, maar later misschien wel... Maar Judes verleden? Dat blijft lang, heel lang, voor zijn vrienden en naasten verzwegen. Als lezer krijgen we wel eerder een inkijk via de Judes eigen gedachten en dromen, of eerder nachtmerries.

Doorheen het boek groeien deze jonge mannen, met de nodige tegenslagen en obstakels, uit tot hun volwassen versies die nog steeds onverwoestbaar met elkaar verbonden zijn.
Beetje bij beetje komt de lezer Judes (traumatische) verleden te weten, samen met het heden van Jude en zijn vrienden. Per hoofdstuk en deel verandert de protagonist (en vaak ook de periode), wat een interessante wending geeft aan het lezen. Zo moet de lezer in de eerste zinnen of pagina's te weten komen over welke van de vier vrienden het nu juist gaat. Niet altijd gemakkelijk omdat er constant over 'hij' of 'hem' gesproken wordt.

Bovenal is dit boek een echte rollercoaster van emoties, maar kortom kan ik meegeven dat het gaat over het LEVEN. Wat de auteur waarschijnlijk in zijn reinste vorm wil afbeelden, want het leven zit vol tegenslagen, maar heeft zeker ook zijn positieve kanten en wordt aan elkaar gebonden door de mensen die we leren kennen en welke relatie we met ze aangaan. Niet te overzien zijn ook de verschillende trigger waarschuwingen voor dit boek. Deze zijn op vele plaatsen terug te vinden voor mensen die er persoonlijk vatbaar voor zijn. Maar laat deze waarschuwingen je zeker niet afschrikken als je toch dit vaak besproken en geprezen boek zou willen lezen, het is zeker de moeite waard.

Ik heb de dwarsligger versie gelezen, vandaar het pagina-aantal. Het was de eerste dwarsligger die ik las, en vond het wel een leuke ervaring, zeker omdat ik pijlsnel doorheen de kleine paginaatjes vloog. Ook een superhandig formaat ten opzichte van de standaard A5. Het paste gewoon in m'n broekzak en dat tijdens mijn 2e coronavaccinatie ;). Ik ga dit boek ook zeker eens in het Engels herlezen omdat ik geen fan ben van vertaalde werken naar het Nederlands.

Jude St.Francis is the most mysterious member of his group of closest friends. Besides him, there are Willem, JB and Malcolm. He never talks about his life as a child and knows how to turn and twist the conversation in a way that it's never about him. In this novel, these four young men grow up starting mainly in their time as students where they met each other in their dorm.

Fairly quickly, we get to know the backgrounds of Jude's best friends; JB lived as a fatherless child amongst the successful women in his life, Willem loses his braindead brother at a young age and not much later, also his grumpy parents while Malcolm enjoys the benefits of a wealthy family, for now... But Jude's history? Is being kept concealed for a very long time from his friends and loved ones. Luckily, the reader gets an insight into Jude's past earlier on through his own thoughts and dreams, or nightmares I should say.

Throughout the book, these young men grow up, with the necessary obstacles and pitfalls, to be their adult versions of themselves which remain indestructibly woven together.
Little by little, the reader learns about Jude's (traumatic) past, and at the same time also his and his friends' present. Each chapter and part has its own protagonist (and often also period in time), which really gives an interesting twist to reading this novel. This way, the reader has to read the first few sentences or pages to find out who is speaking. Not always easy to do because 'him' and 'his' are used very frequently.

Most importantly, this book is a pretty heavy emotional rollercoaster, but in short I can say that this book really is about LIFE. Which I think the author really wanted to depict in this novel. Simply because life is often filled with hardship, but also has its positives and it's being woven together by the people we meet and what relationships we have with them. Not to mention the various trigger warnings for this book. These can be found in many places for people who are personally sensitive to them. But don't let these warnings put you off if you still want to read this often discussed and praised book, it is definitely worth reading.

I'm definitely going to reread this book in English because I am not a fan of works translated into Dutch.

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kellyinbookland's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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cameeroo's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I didn't really expect that a book infamous for scarring people for life, could also affect me emotionally and.....m̸̛̖͠ẻ̷͔̳͛̄n̵͓̿̈͜͠t̶̖̽̐́a̴͙̻̍l̶̞̺̀̚ḷ̵̘͋ÿ̴̕͘ͅ :)

I wanna say that it might be coincidence that I've suffered mental breakdowns and existential crises during the four months I've been reading this book, but it didn't help that I find the main character very relateable, even though I've never experienced most things he's been through. I guess that's because the author did a great job in realistically writing how a person's mind would run, so it's easy to empathize with a character, because at least once in your life, you've thought or felt that way too.

Honestly, my first impression with the book was the paragraphs are extremely lengthy and sometimes too dragging for me to handle, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of characters that was thrown into every scene, that I had to list down their names so I could remember who's who. But later on, I understood that the author just wants to set the mood of a place or event, or to personally introduce you a character, whom you'd probably be attached to as you progress.

Like all other forms of media that I consume, I don't think that every book, especially fiction, should have a moral lesson, because sometimes it's enough for a book to just tell a story. But since this book hits so close to home for me, I've gotten a lot of things from it aside from being entertained(? I seriously don't know the best word to describe "I had a terrible time, in a good way") by the story it told. And personally the most important "lesson" I've learned might be: no matter how terrible life could get, it will always get better. Or maybe it already is better, but we're just too focused with how much we've been scarred by the bad things, we forget to notice that good things also exist in our lives. We've heard this been said a million times, and we've probably told someone this before to comfort them. But as cliche as it sounds, it is true. To quote a line from the book, "All the most terrifying Ifs involve people. All the good ones do as well." And for us to realize that, we have to ask help from other people when we need it, because even if you think otherwise, there will always be someone who is willing to offer you a helping hand. You are not alone. No one is truly alone.

So even if this book had given me a few nightmares (legit, I'm not speaking metaphorically right now), I'm somewhat thankful because it's one of the things that's currently helping me get over my self hatred, doubt and distrust towards people around me, and other bad coping mechanisms. Though I'm rating this with a perfect score, it's hard to recommend it to people, especially if you're going through something at the moment (and most especially if you are clinically depressed and/or have suicidal tendencies, because there are A LOT of triggering scenes and topics in it). Probably read it alongside a book with a lighter topic, or maybe it is best to read this for months instead of one sitting or something, because it's really draining to read.

Read with caution, that's all.

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leonors's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

Spoiler free summary.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS ABSOLUTE PIECE OF TRASH OF A BOOK. The good things about it are not even remotely worth the bad, which are inexcusably bad.

It’s based on an extremely harmful premise (https://electricliterature.com/a-stubborn-lack-of-redemption-an-interview-with-hanya-yanagihara-author-of-a-little-life/#.uyn8bf8vc this interview features Yanagihara’s opinion on treatment of severely mentally ill people and it’s beyond fucked up) and it definitely qualifies as torture porn, although this becomes clear only in the second half. Read carefully the complete list of trigger warnings (the very concept of which -major red flag-the author rejects! See interview again) and beware that most of what you find there is used in a manipulative and exploitative way.

Now the long, non spoiler-free considerations.

The book starts off really, amazingly well, ticking off a lot of boxes:
1. great representation of diversity (race, sexuality, class, disability, you name it);
2. a relatable depiction of the experience of our generation in our late 20s with its doubts, the struggle, the obligation (!) to pursue happiness, the search for identity;
3. its focus and fierce defense of friendship (Willem’s thoughts about it, when he gets “accused” of being codependent with Jude, highlight the flaws of how our society considers it a lesser kind of relationship and how that’s pure and simple bullshit. My favorite paragraph of the entire book.);
4. it presents a beautiful story of “found family”;
5. it lets us experience both the POV of the abuse survivor and that of the people who love him and try to be there for him. We get to see how pervasively abuse can destroy the perception of self and the longterm, constant presence of its effects in everyday life. We also get to see how unequipped we all are to understand this and to find a balance between respecting the survivor’s boundaries and becoming enablers of their self-destructive tendencies;
6. there are some amazing considerations about art and the artist’s experience (hi, JB).

All of the above creates sky-high expectations and willingness to suspend disbelief beyond what I’d normally concede.
Too bad that it was a trap. The author now has lured you in and then...

And then it all goes to shit!
- The relatability goes out of the window the moment every single character (no exceptions!) becomes worldwide successful and impossibly rich. What is failure? What is regular success, as in I made what I wanted and I get paid enough to lead a decent life? That’s for losers, here we exaggerate everything!

- I remember clearly thinking, early into the book, that its fame as a piece of torture porn was undeserved, because all the trauma in Jude’s life still looked consequential (ha! See next point). What I found hard to believe instead, was Jude’s popularity. Everybody seems to love him madly, but it’s not clear why? We certainly don’t get the info from his POV, since he considers himself worthless and undeserving, but the others don’t state it clearly either. In fact, we only know he’s smart, always nice to everyone and that he likes to clean and cook for them to repay them for the fact that they stick around with him. So basically he’s a massive people’s pleaser... and that’s it?
Newsflash: people’s pleasing does not make people love you, in fact it’s a key ingredient to alienation. Mix it with extreme secrecy and consistently refusing acts of kindness, and you see how everybody’s hype around Jude looks far from believable and just convenient to the author’s manipulative purposes.

- Jude’s backstory’s first installments are hard to digest but still more or less plausible (ish). And then when he finally

gets to escape his third abusive environment in a row and ends up abusing himself in the process... he gets abducted by a sadist, who lives in the middle of nowhere and has a ready-to-use torture chamber in his basement.

Haha! It’s basically a Criminal minds episode of the era when Criminal minds jumped the shark. It’s utterly ridiculous and clearly there solely for shock value.
This was the first moment I woke up from my faith-induced stupor and started questioning the author’s good faith.

- The whole focus on friendship dies the saddest death: the only relationship that really counts is Jude-Willem, everyone else becomes increasingly marginal. And then their relationship, shortly after those lovely considerations I mentioned above, turns into

a romantic one. With catastrophic consequences, since sex triggers Jude like hell and eventually they have to exclude it from their relationship.

So they basically go back to what they were before (they spent all their time together and were living together already!) but the label stays and they get increasingly happy times so that the readers can be manipulated into caring more in what is nothing other than a build-up to... [drum roll]

-

the good old cliché of the drunk driver waltzing in “unexpectedly” and killing off the romantic interest / saviour of the troubled character / his sole reason to live!

Honestly the most predictable plot twist of all times, the very epitome of lazy writing, something so trite it’s pathetic. I found myself laughing (!) when it happened, because I had called it, almost as a challenge to the author to do better than that (Dr.Traylor’s bullshit had been a wakeup call, but I was still trying to give her a chance)... but no, she proved herself exactly that kind of author.

Her line of thinking was entirely predictable.

She dropped hints from early on that this was going to end in tragedy, so back then I assumed it’d be about Jude’s suicide. Then he already attempted suicide halfway through the book, so as soon as he recovered and eventually got to experience happiness with Willem, I knew. Because we had seen a whole lot of Willem hurting for him, but not the other way around, and in a book where the author was blatantly trying to pack every kind of imaginable and unimaginable trauma in the life of one single character, major loss was still missing and it needed to go complete the collection. Such a twisted, morbid, voyeristic “logic”.

Equally predictable was Jude’s suicide, which Willem’s death obviously put back on the plate.

But the reason for the 1 star rating, I reiterate, is the article I linked in the summary, which is the confirmation that the author’s good faith was in fact non-existent from the very beginning.
Yanagihara calls psychology an invention and compares it to religion, something one can find solace in or not, depending on belief. She also claims that it’s dishonest because, differently from other medical specialties, it does not know when to admit that death is preferable to life.
So this entire book is a gigantic fuck you to any mentally ill person who’s struggling to come through to the other side of their trauma, and it’s based on the idea that if the illness is severe enough, it’s not even worth trying (Jude refuses therapy until coerced into going, remember?) and we should just let the mentally ill die.
This is fucking disgusting. Don’t come and tell me that psychiatry and psychology in fact have limits and sometimes people fight and still lose, because that’s neither what she stated nor what she wrote. She wrote a character who refused treatment because she considers it bullshit and she wanted to demonstrate

how someone like him is just better off dead.
Dear Comrade and especially Lispenard street 2 suddenly look very different, don’t they? Harold’s heartfelt doubts about forcing Jude to live and be unhappy sound completely different, when you know they’re coming from this perspective.

Add to that that the author shits on the idea of sitting this one out based on the trigger warnings, and you get a clear profile of a how clearly toxic this person is and how her work is toxic on purpose.

And now if someone could recommend me a book that is actually about friendship and actually about overcoming abuse, and does so without manipulation and exploitation of tragedy, I’d be very grateful.

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dune1984's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

This book is tremendously sad, but very well written. There is LGBTQ+ representation, but in a strange way that isn't usual for an LGBTQ+ book. Not good for representation, and no major female characters either, and the canon black characters are not on the center stage. Despite this, it is a very good book that will affect you very deeply.

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