Scan barcode
jackeller's review
5.0
How do you rate something like this? Its not something to be enjoyed, so much as endured. It struck me how much what each survivor had to say was pointed at the isolation and guilt and the insufferable need for validation of why this happened. How we like to say we don't put ourselves in certain situations so we feel safe, so that is why it never happened to us, or that what happened to us wasn't as bad as _____. And so many of these stories point at the culture, the media, our parents and teachers, how we are raised in this echo chamber that makes us submit and suffer in silence and feel alone when we are so many. Mostly, I was shaken by the last story. That woman is me. Yet not-- "not that bad." But a little. But a lot.
jessareader's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
molly_collins's review
5.0
It took me a while to read this book. It wasn't because it was not entirely compelling, but rather because each author's story required processing, thought, and consideration. This is a heavy book. Trigger warnings all day, because I'd be surprised if any person who identifies as a woman (and many who identify as men) didn't see themselves reflected in at least one of these stories.
The stories themselves are not all ones of redemption, of people wrapping up their pain and overcoming trauma and tying it off with a bow to be put away. Several of the stories are about how it requires ongoing work to just be okay enough to continue being.
I'm not sure how to recommend this book, or who to recommend it to, but it is necessary, and important, and also painful.
The stories themselves are not all ones of redemption, of people wrapping up their pain and overcoming trauma and tying it off with a bow to be put away. Several of the stories are about how it requires ongoing work to just be okay enough to continue being.
I'm not sure how to recommend this book, or who to recommend it to, but it is necessary, and important, and also painful.
salome_esteves's review against another edition
5.0
I just finished "Not that Bad". I don't have words. My heart is completely shattered. Now I have to go read something happier, to remind myself the world is still somewhat good.
de_cadence's review
4.0
What a powerful, difficult book. This may be the only time I've cried listening to an audiobook. Rape and sexual assault are of course not exclusive to women, but in many ways they are gendered and gendering crimes. This book is mostly female in its narration, deeply raw, and hard to read or listen to. I also thinks it's desperately important that more stories like this are told so that the cost of these crimes are truly tallied and reckoned with.
aswathy_laila's review
5.0
It took me months to get through this collection of essays. It wasn't made a difficult endeavour by any deficiency in the quality of writing, but rather by the content within it. After every essay, after every person and their story, I had to remind myself to breathe properly again. Even though I had to push through an imaginary force field around the letters everytime I restarted reading, they carried me into a world of revelations, especially a world of forgiveness and solidarity. Forgiveness in respect to the personal. I'm positive this book has subverted all my future "It's Not That Bad" reflex thoughts into clarity and courage. Much love Roxane Gay.
katewalton's review
3.0
Not as strong a collection as I was hoping for, but I appear to be in the minority with this opinion. I found the collection lacked a cohesive voice, which obviously can be hard when working with different writers, but I found myself drifting from one essay to the next without feeling a strong flow. Still very much worth reading, though.
astitchtoofar's review against another edition
4.0
I think this should be a book everyone has to read at some point. It discusses a wide spectrum of experiences with sex, sexual abuse, violence and rape. It made me reflect back on my own experiences and moments where I might have been an ally or part of a toxic culture that would have made things more difficult to speak out. And how much of this toxic culture we all just take for granted. If there is one thing you take away from it, please let It be that sex is something that has to be consentual for all parties and anyone can say no at any point and that must be respected.