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emmazucati's reviews
316 reviews
Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
2.0
Frankly, this book was just not good. I liked Pride and Prejudice, especially Elizabeth Bennet, but the reincarnation of her as Bridget Jones was obnoxious. She was whiny and demanding while being consistently baffled when things didn't go her way. One of the key points of the story was the fact that Bridget wants to lose weight. The only problem with this resolution of hers is that she never exceeds more than 130 pounds. In nobodies book is that considered 'overweight'. Also, who discovers smoothies as being the best new way to avoid alcohol and smoking in November? That is, generally, the time of pumpkin spice or peppermint coffees. And four diary entries later, we never here of these amazing smoothies again. The book is horribly under researched. People don't actually eat less than 1,000 calories a day.Especially if you're 125 pounds. And I understand we all lie to ourselves every now and then but if she honestly believes she knows the calories of a black olive off the top of her head and can't remember how many years she's been on her 'diet', she's kidding herself. I did, however,like the supporting characters. Yes, they could verge on ridiculous, but the entire story did so I turned a blind eye.
However, I could not ignore the writing. Which was not pretty. The story (which was, for all respects and purposes, written in a diary format) spent the entire time practically begging me to agree with it. I felt like I should be nodding my head, sympathizing with Bridget, but I really didn't want to. The sentence structure itself visibly deteriorates throughout the novel. The last few chapters were spent in a permanent cringe. Some of my favorite sentences included: "After all, have degree in English" and "V. excited by new theory as could explain a lot". Honestly??? And the abbreviations. If I have to see 'very' abbreviated to 'v.' one more time, I'm going to blow a gasket. I understand using it in the list at the beginning of the diary entries but that did not invite the entries themselves to be submerged in the shortening of words. What does 're.' even stand for?
I was optimistic coming into this book and horribly dismayed coming out. I could never, in good conscience, recommend this book to anyone. The only reason it got two stars was because I was proud of myself for getting to the end. Speaking of the end, it made me mad. I predicted it within the first ten pages but I was still disappointed.
However, I could not ignore the writing. Which was not pretty. The story (which was, for all respects and purposes, written in a diary format) spent the entire time practically begging me to agree with it. I felt like I should be nodding my head, sympathizing with Bridget, but I really didn't want to. The sentence structure itself visibly deteriorates throughout the novel. The last few chapters were spent in a permanent cringe. Some of my favorite sentences included: "After all, have degree in English" and "V. excited by new theory as could explain a lot". Honestly??? And the abbreviations. If I have to see 'very' abbreviated to 'v.' one more time, I'm going to blow a gasket. I understand using it in the list at the beginning of the diary entries but that did not invite the entries themselves to be submerged in the shortening of words. What does 're.' even stand for?
I was optimistic coming into this book and horribly dismayed coming out. I could never, in good conscience, recommend this book to anyone. The only reason it got two stars was because I was proud of myself for getting to the end. Speaking of the end, it made me mad. I predicted it within the first ten pages but I was still disappointed.
And Another Thing... by Eoin Colfer
3.0
It was a bit like glorified fanfiction. I forced myself to begin the book optimistically, knowing it would be a completely different author, but it just didn't do it for me. There was waaaaay too much about Norse mythology. I read five books that have earthlings and completely made up aliens and then all of a sudden Thor's hanging around? And I hate to break it to the author, but saying bloody is a British thing, not an Asgardian thing. The summing up of the previous book was nice, and the guide notes were interesting but it should have been a different series or something. I don't expect the writing to be similar but the format? Yes. Speaking of the format, it was bad. But really really bad. There were new chapters and page breaks and lines in between paragraphs. The whole thing was just sporadic. It was like a middle schooler made the book with the intention of making the pages as interesting as possible. Some of the page breaks had titles but some didn't and there were at least two different fonts used for the titles of page breaks. I was confused, but not in the comforting Douglas Adams way I was hoping for.
Landline by Rainbow Rowell
5.0
This book was absurdly good. I finished it in less then a day and completely left any responsibilities I had behind me. It was amazing. Everything about it was just so good. It wasn't confusing even when I thought it would be and it didn't tie up every single bow but I didn't care. It was just so beautiful. Like go read it. Right now. I don't even care man, just read it.