phienault's reviews
19 reviews

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

5.0

i was excited to read this and loved the cover so much that i purchased the hardcover one. 

this book deserves every ounce of hype it’s been blessed with! 

warning to look up triggers warnings before proceeding. there’s a LOT of triggering contents in this book. it doesn’t shy away from facing probs head on and with an unflinching tone. 

i adored this book. it’s so rare for me to be impacted by this deeply. when i tell you i stayed up untill 4 am to finish this book because i simply couldn’t sleep without knowing Jeanette would be okey. 

nickelodeon and disney was a huge part of my childhood and i loved iCarly and Sam. hearing Jeanette’s story is another example of how you don’t know what’s happening to someone behind closed doors. as talented as she was in acting, i’m glad she made the decision to walk away. no one should be forced into a career they never wanted—especially a career as draining and consuming emotionally, mentally and physically as acting. 

her mother’s abuse was though to hear. it’s more painful to see how much Jeanette wanted to appease her mom all the way until the very end of her life. she constantly put her mom’s needs before her own and her mom would willingly exploit and manipulate her knowing this. 

the title and cover is alarming and provocative BUT justified. if you assume Jeanette never loved her mother, the story proves the exact opposite. the title isn’t reflection of Jeanette but the treatment of her mother towards her. her mother severely betrayed and abused her and Jeanette loved her while she was alive despite it. but time and healing allowed her to see the long term damage her mother has done and some damage is irreversible. her story sheds more light to how we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to all of the different forms, relationships, and dynamics abuse can happen. if anything, parental abuse should be looked at with the utmost seriousness due to the power dynamic and pressures to love your family despite their faults, even they hurt you. 

this book is totally worth to read! tons of love! Jeanette is a wonderful storyteller, her writes was so captivating and deeply beautiful. 

again, 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Childfree & Happy by Victoria Tunggono

4.0

lagi rame bgt kan ya di media sosial netizen Indonesia pada ngebahas ttg childfree. biar gajadi manusia yg suka judgement pilihan hidup manusia lainnya, mendingan kita perbanyak ilmu. ataupun kalau mmg kepengen ngasih komentar, ya juga kitanya hrs punya bekal ilmu pengetahuan/pengalaman supaya yang kita sampaikan ada isinya alias ga sotoy dan malah jd boomerang buat kitanya.

Childfree & Happy karya Mba Tori, salah satu buku BAGUS yg wajib masuk reading list. 

menurutku di negara-negara Timur kya Indonesia standar sosial kehidupan seseorang dimulai dari lahir-tumbuh dewasa-menikah-punya anak-punya cucu-meninggal. sehingga keputusan seseorang utk childfree dipandang sebagai anomali.

waktu itu aku sempat ngepost tentang buku childfree ini di igs aku dan beberapa teman teman ada yang nanya apakah aku bakalan memutuskan untuk childfree di masa yang akan datang(?) i’m not really sure about that, so aku masih mikir-mikir, that’s way aku hrs banyak nyari informasi ataupun referensi dari artikel, buku, ataupun podcast yang emang khusus ngebahas tentang childfree. dan yang terpenting sumber/penulis/podcasternya emg HARUS orang-orang yang memutuskan utk childfree. aku tipikal pembaca yg bener” selektif kalau milih buku bacaan. mesti tau dulu ini karyanya siapa dan relevan ga sama apa yg mereka tulis. Victoria Tunggono (Tori) adalah salah satunya. 

nah, di bukunya Mba Tori ini aku banyak banget dapat perspektif baru tentang childfree dan alasan kenapa beberapa orang akhirnya memutuskan utk childfree setelah mereka menikah. 

buku ini tuh bahasanya ringan banget. bener” berasa kaya kita lagi ngobrol sama teman, berasa lagi dengerin mereka curhat. 

setelah baca buku ini aku ngerasa lebih bijak lagi dalam menghargai keputusan seseorang terutama mereka yang memilih untuk childfree setelah menikah. karena keputusan tsb bukan keputusan satu-dua hari, bener” ngelawatin proses yg panjang. 

this book such a page turner! aku baca di Literacy Coffee, selesai dlm 2 kali kunjungan. 

Teh dan Pengkhianat by Iksaka Banu

4.25

teman-teman penggemar buku fiksi sejarah pasti udah ga asing dgn Iksaka Banu. beliau memang selalu melahirkan karya-karya yang TOP! salah satunya, Teh dan Pengkhianat. 

buku ini merupakan kumpulan dari 13 cerpen yang menceritakan jaman penjajahan kolonial Belanda. diceritakan berurut mulai dari kedatangan mereka hingga pergi meninggalkan Indonesia. 

mungkin manteman udah sering baca buku sejarah penjajahan Belanda di Indonesia dan hampir semua bercerita berdasarkan sudut pandang org Indonesia. buku Teh dan Pengkhianat hadir dalam versi berbeda, bercerita melalui sudut pandang org Belanda selama mereka menjajah-menetap di Indonesia. 

cerpen favoritku dalam buku ini adalah Belenggu Emas (tentang feminisme) dan Lazarus Tak Ada di Sini (dialog antara letnan yang sekarat dengan seorang pastor). 

buku kumpulan cerpen ini cocok dibaca oleh teman-teman yg ga terlalu suka baca buku yg tebal atau mau menghemat waktu. buku ini jg banyak ngasih insight ttg sejarah negara yg emg kita sbg generasi muda harus tau. 

manteman bisa baca buku ini secara daring dan gratis di Ipusnas. 

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

5.0

this book stands out as one of the most helpful things i’ve found in my life-long search for the way to ‘live’ and be useful to others despite depression. 

why i found this book so helpful is because one of the rock-bottom places where depression can take you is despair. despair is the absence of hope. the search for meaning, for a response to something life is asking of you is the place where hope is born. 

Frankl states that hope, like genuine laughter or like faith or love is not something that we can will into being. we cannot make hope appear willy nilly in our lives because hope is more than a nice thought, it is, like true love something that involves your whole being. i find this to be true but there are things that we can do to prepare the way for hope’s arrival and hope will come, it will always come. we can search for meaning because searching, looking, asking and expecting are acts and attitudes that we can will. meaning, according to Frankl is found in 3 different forms. meaning is found in creating or doing. meaning is found in experiencing something greater than ourselves and in encountering another being true love. and finally, meaning can be found in the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. the important thing here is that in all of these instances the value of the thing that gives meaning is subjective. there is no scale out there that says that writing a novel gives more meaning than helping you spouse with the dishes. when it comes to meaning, the small, the hidden, the unsaid is important as the great acts of genius and you alone are the judge. orienting yourself to responding in some ways to what life is asking you may not be the sole cure to depression but it is for me a necessary part of any healing process of learning to live and be useful, despite the illness. 

this book will remain next to me. 

5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

4.0

people that can go back in time in a coffee shop? sign me in! 

a slow-moving, but beautifully paced novel about time-travel and questioning the idea that if you were given an opportunity to visit the past, would you? even though there’s nothing that you can change? even if there are strict measurements set in place making it seem almost pointless to even take part in the activity? 

this story left me slightly overwhelmed. this was such a character-driven story with so much heart and puts you in the shoed of those characters and you suddenly become connected to their pain and suffering as the story evolves. 

BTCGC was on my reading list for a long time. this is as gewd as everyone keep saying. simply-written BUT abs PERFECT!!! 

Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by bell hooks

4.0

i am a little fledgling when it comes to intersectional feminism, so this was a great book for me to read. it further explored and clarified certain arguments and pov that i’ve read/listened about online. it was published in 1987, so it’s not completely up-to-date, BUT it’s really an EXCELLENT book! 

Bell Hook discussed black women, the sexism n the racism they faced during slavery and then continues discussing and exploring the sexism and racism that they face in the contemporary times. particularly focusing on white women’s feminism and how white feminism has historically excluded black women (n women of colour) from it. 

Hook was a pioneer, writing about intersectionality at a time when this kind of analysis was marginal. she was also one of the first to talk about how the changes in the American capitalist economy (as opposed to the feminist movement itself) have impacted the status of women. she thus drew links between wealth, capital, profit and liberalism right in her very first book. 

imo, this book such a piece of rhetoric, well-written, insightful and certainly effective. four stars ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Segala yang Diisap Langit by Pinto Anugrah

3.75

Segala yang Diisap Langit, novel keempat berlatar belakang budaya Indonesia yang kelar aku baca di tahun ini. kali ini berlatang belakang budaya Minangkabau. 

tokoh utama dalam buku ini adalah Rabiah. Rangkayo Bunga Rabiah bertekad utk memiliki anak perempuan demi mematahkan ramalan prihal ranji rangkayo-nya akan berakhir di keturunan ketujuh, yaitu dirinya. ramalan tsb menyebutkan kalau habisnya keturunan rangkayo di ranah Minang menandakan matinya zaman kejayaan Rangkayo. tanda-tanda tsb sbnrnya sudah keliatan; harta kekayaan keluarga-keluarga rangkayo semakin menipis dan bukit-bukit berisi emas di sekirtaran Gunung Marapi juga sudah tinggal gundukan tanah belaka. Yang paling mengkhawatirkan adalah golongan kaum berbaju putih yg semakin besar dan semakin kuat dan mereka menyerang wilayah sekitar Gunung Marapi. 

disisi lain, Magek Takangkang, saudara seibu Bungo Rabiah sudah muak dgn tradisi Minang yang dianggapnya terlalu primitif; seperti prinsip matriarki, perjudian, sabung ayam, mabuk-mabukan, dan perkawinan inses. Magek terpanggil utk bergabung dgn kaum putih dan menumpas tradisi-tradisi sesat kaum Rangkayo, yang brrti Magek melawan keluarganya sendiri. 

menurutku, gaya penulisan buku ini cukup baik, sayangnya penggambaran silsilah keluarga kurang jelas. di awal aku agak bingung karena beberapa hal dijelaskan langsung tanpa ada basa-basi. mungkin karena aku kurang akrab dgn budaya Minangkabau jadi terkesan kurang jelas dan terburu-buru ((beberapa paragraf aku hrs baca berulang supaya paham hehe)). 

tapi hal tsb ga menjadikan aku utk ga kelarin baca buku ini. buku 134 halaman ini bener-bener kental akan budaya Minangkabau dan banyak ngasih pengetahuan baru utkku yg masih minim ilmu ini. bisa diselesaikan dlm sekali duduk😊

another option for your reading list! 

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence by Michele Filgate

4.0

What My Mother and I Don’t Talk, 

14 writers share the complexity of their feelings and relationships with their mothers. it seems mine is simultaneously all of it and none of it. for most of our lives, we see and experience our mothers through our lens, our views of what she said and done to us. then, the point begins with looking at our mothers as individuals in their own right, with stories of their own. many years are spent in that floundering between desiring approval and receiving/not receiving that approval; and running away to be free from that burden of desires and expectations. and whether we like it or not, for better, for worst, we are almost always coming back to this first relationship to understand the question ‘what am i all about?’ 

this book is complex, one that touches your soul so profoundly. speaking honestly and directly is an art; for everyone, especially when it comes to intimate and important topics that define our lives. 

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall

4.0

Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall. 

if someone wanted to understand what intersectional feminism or ‘womanism’ looks like, i would point em straight to this book. Kendall covers a dazzling range of issues and explains how they are correlated to the experiences of black women. this one of those books where i feel like i need to let it simmer and come back to it at some point to go a layer deeper. soooo gewd and a great example of nonfiction centered on social analysis. 

Lingkar Tanah Lingkar Air by Ahmad Tohari

4.5

lagi-lagi buku dari penulis favoritku, the one and only, Ahmad Tohari. 

Lingkar Tanah Lingkar Air, novel sejarah Indonesia yang bercerita ttg Amid dan beberapa rekannya—Kang Suyud, Kiram dan Jun—yg diminta utk jadi tentara sukarela dalam merebut kemerdekaan dari Belanda. novel ini berlatar pada kejadian DI/TII. 

konflik berawal sewaktu Kang Suyud, Kiram, dan Jun mulai ‘melepaskan diri’ dari ikatan tentara nasional dan malah memilih bergabung dengan pasukan Kartosuwiryo karena mereka berpendapat bahwa tentara nasional adalah sekutu komunis. Amid mulai dilema. satu sisi tetap ingin berjuang dengan kawan-kawannya, tapi disisi lain beliau juga gamau melawan pemerintah NKRI. 

hal lain yang dapat kita ‘lihat’ dr cerita buku ini adalah bagaimana ideologi yang satu dengan yang lain diadu domba. saling diajak memberantas, saling memusuhi. kelihatan banget dr sisi manapun, semuanya berawal dari doktrin.

buku ini tebalnya 170 halaman. in between the circulating historical fictions dating from 65 to 98, this book is a fresh breathe of air!

buku ini cukup memainkan emosi pembaca. dah dah dah, segitu aja reviewnya. aku bisa jamin kalau buku-buku karya Ahmad Tohari emg super layak utk dibeli dan dibaca! BEST BEST BEST!!!!!!!