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pinkblingd's reviews
26 reviews
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-joo
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
5.0
"Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarised attitude regarding domestic labour. Some demeaned it as 'bumming around at home', while others glorified it as 'work that sustains life', but none tried to calculate it's monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay."
The above passage captures the core issue of gender roles in patriarchy and is from the book ', Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982' β a 2016 book by Cho Nam-Joo. This book was one of the inspirations for the 4B feminist movement in 2019, Korea.
(I highly encourage everyone to read the reaction to and influence of this book. From rise in feminist conversations the following year, it's influences in the Korean me-too movement, to male fans of a female KPop idol burning up her photos for recommending this book. Yes, the book is recommended by RM of BTS but I doubt anyone burned his photos for it.
Even with regards to the 4B moment there is a lot of misinformation pushed by western TikTok/Instagram β to begin with, the 4B movement did not cause lower birth rates in Koreaπ€¦π½ββοΈ. And it wasn't as large a movement/resistance as the west made it out to be.)
The book is very small at 161 pages and split into 6 sections. The very first section is set in the present (2016) and reminded me strongly of Han Kang's The Vegetarian, but way less intense and a fast read.
Jiyoung is a new mother and if the readers know anything about what it is to be a woman and a new mother, they know she is on the edge of madness. And if the reader doesn't know what it is to be a woman and a new mother, the next 4 chapters are the stories of Jiyoung's life β from her time in the school, through her college years, her first job, marriage, childbirth, childcare, and her first job after childbirth.
The last chapter is surprising and probably the best part of the book.
In just 161 pages the author Cho Nam-Joo has given voice to the many layered issues faced by modern women. And pulled off the most beautiful and subtle depiction of the modern man with all his good nature, feminist ideologies, supportive parterhood, and progressive approach and actions.
This book is for every man, woman, boy and girl β anyone but mothers; they already know this story. I do believe many will miss the many subtle between-the-line messages.
PS:
Many will rush forward to say that such a story is a rare one and that most women today have all the help and support as mothers. As someone who is friends with few mothers and has a sister who is a mother, the book nailed the experience of womanhood and motherhood.
There's a part in the book when Jiyoung hears men at a cafe call her a 'mum-roach' for living off the husband's paycheck and having it real cosy. I personally have heard so many stories around this depiction of homemakers and stay-at-home mothers. I loved reading this moment in the book β the author does not tell us what is fair and unfair but lets us feel every bit uncomfortable with the unfairness of it all.
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life by Sari Solden
medium-paced
4.0
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder is an amazing book to understand the inattentive and quiet type of ADHD. Sari Solden details the many symptoms and narrates many client stories to highlight how these symptoms may show up and affect our lives. These stories are what makes the book amazing β because ADHD can show up in unique ways, making it that much harder to diagnose.
This book is not for diagnosis. (ADHD diagnosis can only be done by a medical counsellor, not self. And definitely not by that reel you saw where normal human symptoms in a chronically toxic system are framed as ADHD.)
The book is mainly to understand the inattentive type of ADHD, educate oneself and let go of much of the shame associated with these symptoms, and take necessary steps towards getting a diagnosis.
I think it's a great book to read before diagnosis. With a better understanding, one can ask the right questions and break down important areas of concern. For example, ADHD can also affect how we connect with people. A person with ADHD who is dealing with the breakdown of their executive functions/systems may not realise their relationship issues with friends/partners are also due to ADHD. They may be stressing themselves further by assigning their interpersonal issues the label of their character defect.
Another way reading about ADHD helps before/after diagnosis, is in understanding what is and what is not ADHD. With so many generalised social media reels and posts on ADHD and other mental health issues, there is an unhealthy amount of people diagnosing themselves and others. (I have had this experience: a friend stereotyped my entire personality using one or two points and diagnosed me out of nowhere. And with so much conviction.)
The book also details misdiagnosis and the complications of diagnosis, and why it should only be done by a trained professional: Other mental health conditions may be showing up as ADHD symptoms. Undiagnosed ADHD can lead to anxiety, depression, and OCD. A person may also have ADHD and other mental health issues. Or they may have all the symptoms of ADHD and not have ADHD.
It's an entire journey with self-education and a good therapist helping you understand your unique ADHD symptoms, how/when they show up, managing the symptoms through regular therapy and, if required, regular medication.
This book is not for diagnosis. (ADHD diagnosis can only be done by a medical counsellor, not self. And definitely not by that reel you saw where normal human symptoms in a chronically toxic system are framed as ADHD.)
The book is mainly to understand the inattentive type of ADHD, educate oneself and let go of much of the shame associated with these symptoms, and take necessary steps towards getting a diagnosis.
I think it's a great book to read before diagnosis. With a better understanding, one can ask the right questions and break down important areas of concern. For example, ADHD can also affect how we connect with people. A person with ADHD who is dealing with the breakdown of their executive functions/systems may not realise their relationship issues with friends/partners are also due to ADHD. They may be stressing themselves further by assigning their interpersonal issues the label of their character defect.
Another way reading about ADHD helps before/after diagnosis, is in understanding what is and what is not ADHD. With so many generalised social media reels and posts on ADHD and other mental health issues, there is an unhealthy amount of people diagnosing themselves and others. (I have had this experience: a friend stereotyped my entire personality using one or two points and diagnosed me out of nowhere. And with so much conviction.)
The book also details misdiagnosis and the complications of diagnosis, and why it should only be done by a trained professional: Other mental health conditions may be showing up as ADHD symptoms. Undiagnosed ADHD can lead to anxiety, depression, and OCD. A person may also have ADHD and other mental health issues. Or they may have all the symptoms of ADHD and not have ADHD.
It's an entire journey with self-education and a good therapist helping you understand your unique ADHD symptoms, how/when they show up, managing the symptoms through regular therapy and, if required, regular medication.
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
A little note, because I'm worried about coming off as a clinical review of such an intimate memoir.
I'm thankful for people like Jennette McCurdy. For writing about abusive parent(s) β it has to be hard to recall triggering moments and conversations, to relive past. And I love the title.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Jennette lays out her entire life story from her first acting audition as a kid, through mental health issues and eating disorders, and to reclaiming her life from mid to late twenties. As you read the book, it makes sense her title for a memoir on her life is about her mother.
Her childhood was built around pleasing her mother. Adopting all her mother's likes and dislikes as her own. Resolving fights between her mother and other adults. Living her mother's dream at the expense of a life. She recounts the many ways she lost herself and her autonomy to her mother, over and over.
Once she says her final goodbye to her mother, she realises she has no idea who she is as a person, how to manage her bulimia or alcohol abuse, or how have any control over her life when even acting is meaningless to her with Nickelodeon running the show and squashing her creative interests.
Coming into her own meant facing the truth about the person she loved the most all her life, doing the hard work of keeping at treating her eating disorder through endless relapses, the toll of dating someone with their own mental health issues and learning to not let it overshadow her own wellbeing, having difficult conversations, taking back control of her life.
This has been a beautiful, intimate, and powerful read. π§‘π§‘π€π€π€
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
A few quotes I loved:
"Why do we romantacize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms. They are the most romantacized of anyone".
"I feel like the world is divided into two types of people. People who know loss and people who don't. And whenever I encounter someone who doesn't, I disregard them."
"Current guy is wonderfully sweet and thoughtful and romantic. But I don't love him. Maybe it's because I don't have space in my heart to love anyone right now while mom's dying. Or maybe that's me trying to blame a genuine lack of connection on grief. Grief is a great scapegoat. Regardless, I'm discovering just how powerful of a tool it is to not love someone. Loving someone is vulnerable. It's sensitive. It's tender. And I get lost in them. If I love someone, I start to disappear. It's so much easier to just do googly eyes and fond memories and inside jokes for a few months, run the second things start to get real, then repeat the cycle with someone new. That's where I am at with the current guy. The distraction's been nice but I'm ready for a replacement."
I'm thankful for people like Jennette McCurdy. For writing about abusive parent(s) β it has to be hard to recall triggering moments and conversations, to relive past. And I love the title.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Jennette lays out her entire life story from her first acting audition as a kid, through mental health issues and eating disorders, and to reclaiming her life from mid to late twenties. As you read the book, it makes sense her title for a memoir on her life is about her mother.
Her childhood was built around pleasing her mother. Adopting all her mother's likes and dislikes as her own. Resolving fights between her mother and other adults. Living her mother's dream at the expense of a life. She recounts the many ways she lost herself and her autonomy to her mother, over and over.
Once she says her final goodbye to her mother, she realises she has no idea who she is as a person, how to manage her bulimia or alcohol abuse, or how have any control over her life when even acting is meaningless to her with Nickelodeon running the show and squashing her creative interests.
Coming into her own meant facing the truth about the person she loved the most all her life, doing the hard work of keeping at treating her eating disorder through endless relapses, the toll of dating someone with their own mental health issues and learning to not let it overshadow her own wellbeing, having difficult conversations, taking back control of her life.
This has been a beautiful, intimate, and powerful read. π§‘π§‘π€π€π€
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
A few quotes I loved:
"Why do we romantacize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms. They are the most romantacized of anyone".
"I feel like the world is divided into two types of people. People who know loss and people who don't. And whenever I encounter someone who doesn't, I disregard them."
"Current guy is wonderfully sweet and thoughtful and romantic. But I don't love him. Maybe it's because I don't have space in my heart to love anyone right now while mom's dying. Or maybe that's me trying to blame a genuine lack of connection on grief. Grief is a great scapegoat. Regardless, I'm discovering just how powerful of a tool it is to not love someone. Loving someone is vulnerable. It's sensitive. It's tender. And I get lost in them. If I love someone, I start to disappear. It's so much easier to just do googly eyes and fond memories and inside jokes for a few months, run the second things start to get real, then repeat the cycle with someone new. That's where I am at with the current guy. The distraction's been nice but I'm ready for a replacement."
I Want to Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
This is not a review because when I picked up the book I had no idea it was a young adult romantic manga. I prefer reading romance as a part of the story, rather than it being the central theme. Rating a book for which I am not the audience would be unfair. (I should have known though. I mean, the cover!)
Anyhow.
I read the entire book in a single evening and while it did not leave as much of an impression as Kare Kano (highly recommend), It did teach me a few things, and that was so unexpected. I love that the story and it's characters took time with the plot/evolution, it was very honest. And the emotions were built up slowly, allowing us readers to catch up and feel alongside the characters. Even though it's not my kind of read, I'm glad I read it β definitely walking away with a full heart.
πΈπΈπΈπΈπΈ
Anyhow.
I read the entire book in a single evening and while it did not leave as much of an impression as Kare Kano (highly recommend), It did teach me a few things, and that was so unexpected. I love that the story and it's characters took time with the plot/evolution, it was very honest. And the emotions were built up slowly, allowing us readers to catch up and feel alongside the characters. Even though it's not my kind of read, I'm glad I read it β definitely walking away with a full heart.
πΈπΈπΈπΈπΈ
Adelaide by Genevieve Wheeler
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
β€οΈππ€ππππ§‘
The many hearts for the various beautiful facets of Adelaide
.
.
Trigger warning β οΈ
Suicide, relationship abuse, sexual abuse, mental health
.
.
As hoped by the author, the feelings in this book were real, tangible, overwhelming, and beautiful.
I almost put down the book when I came across a scene of 'voluntary' submissiveness in a sexual scenario to 'make up' for the partner's commitment phobia/assholery. 'I do not need this', I thought. But I had abandoned quite a few books at this point so I picked it up again. Thank god I did because the plot changed after page 110.
OK, not exactly. You still have a very young Adelaide (24 years) in a relationship with man you will hate β as you turn every page you will be surprised to find out you are capable of hating him more and viscerally. Her friends are young too and support her to some point in her endeavour to be a rock for her partner.
However, from page 110 things are not predictable anymore. There's an unexpected twist at this point and you get caught in the whirlpool that is this relationship; with Adelaide at the eye of the storm willing to be the best girlfriend, friend, employee, sister; and you just know that when the storm breaks so will Adelaide.
Manic depression from the relationship, perfectionism at work and in every sense, intelligence, brilliance, kindness, and unwavering love and kindness. That's Adelaide.
The top reason I love this book - It takes a lot of thought to write such a story without experiencing it; it takes a lot of strength and healing to write such a story after experiencing it.
PS: If you're looking for a revenge angle or some avenging of the trauma, this book is not it. And I love that.
The many hearts for the various beautiful facets of Adelaide
.
.
Trigger warning β οΈ
Suicide, relationship abuse, sexual abuse, mental health
.
.
As hoped by the author, the feelings in this book were real, tangible, overwhelming, and beautiful.
I almost put down the book when I came across a scene of 'voluntary' submissiveness in a sexual scenario to 'make up' for the partner's commitment phobia/assholery. 'I do not need this', I thought. But I had abandoned quite a few books at this point so I picked it up again. Thank god I did because the plot changed after page 110.
OK, not exactly. You still have a very young Adelaide (24 years) in a relationship with man you will hate β as you turn every page you will be surprised to find out you are capable of hating him more and viscerally. Her friends are young too and support her to some point in her endeavour to be a rock for her partner.
However, from page 110 things are not predictable anymore. There's an unexpected twist at this point and you get caught in the whirlpool that is this relationship; with Adelaide at the eye of the storm willing to be the best girlfriend, friend, employee, sister; and you just know that when the storm breaks so will Adelaide.
Manic depression from the relationship, perfectionism at work and in every sense, intelligence, brilliance, kindness, and unwavering love and kindness. That's Adelaide.
The top reason I love this book - It takes a lot of thought to write such a story without experiencing it; it takes a lot of strength and healing to write such a story after experiencing it.
PS: If you're looking for a revenge angle or some avenging of the trauma, this book is not it. And I love that.
All That Consumes Us by Erica Waters
dark
emotional
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
A delicious goth novel after so long!
This book reminded me so much of Rebecca and Manderly β my mind made a visual map of every main character and who they were playing from Rebecca. I imagined it to be a modernized version of the book with a stronger, more relatable, bisexual protagonist who wants to finish schooling and make ends meet with her janitorial job.
Except. The story used the flesh and bones of Rebecca and was reborn as something unexpected. Night time adventures at the graveyard, suspiciously supernatural moments, secret societies, beautiful old schools, the loud buzzing of circadas, old journals, found families, conversations around trust and feelings. I love goth but I have read very few β and I loved this!
This book reminded me so much of Rebecca and Manderly β my mind made a visual map of every main character and who they were playing from Rebecca. I imagined it to be a modernized version of the book with a stronger, more relatable, bisexual protagonist who wants to finish schooling and make ends meet with her janitorial job.
Except. The story used the flesh and bones of Rebecca and was reborn as something unexpected. Night time adventures at the graveyard, suspiciously supernatural moments, secret societies, beautiful old schools, the loud buzzing of circadas, old journals, found families, conversations around trust and feelings. I love goth but I have read very few β and I loved this!
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I cried a lot over the last few chapters. A part in the beginning traumatized me. The addiction part was triggering. My review is going to be short and brief:
a truly beautiful book, painful.
a truly beautiful book, painful.
Content Warnings
Minor: Animal cruelty, Domestic abuse, and War
Trigger warnings β οΈ
animal abuse, domestic violence, war/PTSD, addiction, family trauma, queer trauma
The Secret of Candlelight Inn, Volume 139 by Carolyn Keene
5.0
Is returning to a childhood favourite read a bad idea? This luckily wasn't! I think I can totally pick more of Nancy Drew mysteries when I need something less immersive.
(I mean, yeah three white women are the lead. And OK the housekeeper's only priority seems to be Nancy and her father. And do they need to highlight Bess and her eating habits so often?)
Ned, my first literary crush (or was it Laurie?), wasn't in this book. I do look forward to reading a book that includes him.
(I mean, yeah three white women are the lead. And OK the housekeeper's only priority seems to be Nancy and her father. And do they need to highlight Bess and her eating habits so often?)
Ned, my first literary crush (or was it Laurie?), wasn't in this book. I do look forward to reading a book that includes him.
Blue Period, Vol. 1 by Tsubasa Yamaguchi
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
"...is kinda nice isn't it? Shibuya in the early morning..."
Just before dawn and in the last hour of the night, Yatora tries to put into words how the beauty of the city makes him feel ... only to be teased by his friend. But the feeling stays in memory and unfurls itself in his painting in the art class. Guided by his art teacher and seniors, Yatura learns about what it means to practice art seriously, practice over talent, techniques, exercises, opportunities, and most importantly, expressing himself.
Just before dawn and in the last hour of the night, Yatora tries to put into words how the beauty of the city makes him feel ... only to be teased by his friend. But the feeling stays in memory and unfurls itself in his painting in the art class. Guided by his art teacher and seniors, Yatura learns about what it means to practice art seriously, practice over talent, techniques, exercises, opportunities, and most importantly, expressing himself.
Eden Abandoned by Shinie Antony
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
What I absolutely loved about the book:
- Lilith's cynicism and character dissection of Adam and God is so on point, merciless, hilarious, and, well, satisfactory.
- Lilith regularly draws attention to made-in-god's-form-Adam's act, God's cruelty, and the sexism in the retelling of her stories
- The beauty of breaking down the truths of the garden of Eden and the world beyond β heteronormative societies, shame and duty, capitalism and pornography, equality and marriage.
- The emo-badass narration
And yet, I did not enjoy the second half.
.
.
.
Maybe I expected Lilith to be something other than Lilith. Maybe a book that's exhaustively around Lilith's 'revenge' phase isn't such a great idea. But then, even outside it, there was so much of Adam in her mind... it just was too much for me.
- Lilith's cynicism and character dissection of Adam and God is so on point, merciless, hilarious, and, well, satisfactory.
- Lilith regularly draws attention to made-in-god's-form-Adam's act, God's cruelty, and the sexism in the retelling of her stories
- The beauty of breaking down the truths of the garden of Eden and the world beyond β heteronormative societies, shame and duty, capitalism and pornography, equality and marriage.
- The emo-badass narration
And yet, I did not enjoy the second half.
.
.
.
Maybe I expected Lilith to be something other than Lilith. Maybe a book that's exhaustively around Lilith's 'revenge' phase isn't such a great idea. But then, even outside it, there was so much of Adam in her mind... it just was too much for me.