Reviews

We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter by Celeste Headlee

makenziechristenson's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative inspiring fast-paced

5.0

edlitam11's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative reflective slow-paced

2.25

mels_shelf's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

hillarynicole's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative medium-paced

3.0

This book was an enjoyable, mostly anecdotal lesson on conversations.  I really wish there was more science or psychology-based lessons in here, as I felt the author repeated things everyone has heard before with a few anecdotes and a couple of quotes from scientists thrown in. It’s still a good reminder of things to work on, but nothing I would consider ground-breaking. 

campbelle177's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

devinboehmer's review against another edition

Go to review page

5.0

I absolutely loved everything about this book. The length was perfect, there was the right balance of anecdotes/opinion and facts/analysis, and it was written so concisely. Celeste made me think about my own empathic abilities, listening skills, and even reevaluating my relationships with others (especially those whose views I do not tend to agree with). I agree with her that everyone should read this book for a more productive and compassionate society in the age of technology and deep political polarization.

grace_e_lee's review against another edition

Go to review page

5.0

I started reading this book when I had a bad conversation with my acquaintance. That conversation with him let me realize I was neither engaged in the conversation nor empathetic. In other words I was not "listening", I was hearing what I expect him to tell.

This book taught me a lot. My insincere attitude/words/actions can hurt someone's feelings. When I have no mental energy to be engaged in a conversation I'd better politely walk away. Other than this, this book offers various valuable lifelong lessons.

watson_my_shelf's review against another edition

Go to review page

3.5

 I learned a lot about conversations from this book, especially how I converse with people. There were a lot of takeaways for me from this. I had so many "aha" moments from Celeste's recounting of her personal experiences. I learned better ways of listening, and better ways for responding to those I am speaking with. I have really been reflecting on a lot of the points Celeste makes in this book. Highly recommend for anyone. It is a little preachy at points, but that's self help for you.

“Being a good talker doesn’t make you a good listener. And being smart might make you a terrible listener.” 
 
“A good conversation is not necessarily an easy one” 
 
“Listening to someone doesn’t mean agreeing with them. The purpose of listening to understand, not to endorse.” 
 
In uncomfortable conversation, defaulting to a conversation you are comfortable with: yourself. She uses example of talking about her own dads death when her friend is grieving and friend gets upset. Turns attention to yourself. “Conversational narcissism” shift versus support response. 
 
“The more comfortable you are, the more difficult it is to empathize with the suffering of another” 
 
“If the point of a conversation is to engaged someone else so you can have an effective and enlightening exchange, the trivialities can quickly become counterproductive “ 
 
“We talk to someone because we want to say something, not because we want to hear” 

mxmiche's review against another edition

Go to review page

3.0

This book was very well researched. There were a lot of interesting tidbits about how different things such as social media have effected our ability to communicate with one another. But on the whole, I felt like this book could have just been a long blog post. In book format, the author did what she encourages others not to do in conversation; she didn't keep it short.

ssejig's review against another edition

Go to review page

3.0

Interweaving her own experiences with harder research, Headlee teaches us how to better communicate. Of course, a lot of it comes down to listening. But there is a lot that has to do with empathy for... well, everyone. Or mostly everyone. She is a radio host and did interviews for a living so the audiobook is quite delightful to listen to. However, I think that much of this information could be gleaned from the TedTalk that Headlee based the book off of. If you want to get down to the nitty gritty, I suggest finding that. If you like your information a little more filled out, this is going to be the place to come to.