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votesforwomen's review
4.0
My best-kept secret from the internet is the fact that my body is crumbling.
I don't know why I refuse to talk about it over here. Maybe because it's embarrassing? Maybe because of my internalized ableism--it's not bad for anyone else to have weaknesses and illnesses and disabilities, but I have no grace for myself. I should be "strong." I should be able to do all of the things I did before injuries, sicknesses, and constant pain began to plague my body. I should absolutely not be stricken by the mental challenges that steal my sanity and rip at my ability to stay standing even if I'm not in physical pain.
Some days, I don't even remember what it's like to live entirely without pain.
This book found me where I am right now--dealing with a mild cold that has lingered for three weeks because my body doesn't have the energy to fight it off. I've been trying to stay alert and strong long enough to get through school deadlines as my body collapses, congestion in my weak lungs and my throat burning with a soreness that makes it hard to talk. I'm struggling to keep up with all of the things I want to do, the things that bring me joy, the things God has clearly called me to do.
But this book is a reminder: God has called me here, too. His hands are still here, even when I feel empty.
The reminder of the words, "The body of Christ, broken for you" in the Lord's Supper--THESE are the words that define my hope. I am not empty. I am not broken. I am only waiting. Because it is not just my brokenness. It is His strength, holding me. He is the Christ who was broken for me. His body also bears the permanent marks and scars of agony. But he didn't do a single thing to deserve that. He was God, God as spirit, and he gave that up to come here in a human body and hold me fast as I cry in my very very human pain.
I will never be alone. God bless KJ Ramsey for reminding me of this truth. He is never far.
Psalm 34:18
I don't know why I refuse to talk about it over here. Maybe because it's embarrassing? Maybe because of my internalized ableism--it's not bad for anyone else to have weaknesses and illnesses and disabilities, but I have no grace for myself. I should be "strong." I should be able to do all of the things I did before injuries, sicknesses, and constant pain began to plague my body. I should absolutely not be stricken by the mental challenges that steal my sanity and rip at my ability to stay standing even if I'm not in physical pain.
Some days, I don't even remember what it's like to live entirely without pain.
This book found me where I am right now--dealing with a mild cold that has lingered for three weeks because my body doesn't have the energy to fight it off. I've been trying to stay alert and strong long enough to get through school deadlines as my body collapses, congestion in my weak lungs and my throat burning with a soreness that makes it hard to talk. I'm struggling to keep up with all of the things I want to do, the things that bring me joy, the things God has clearly called me to do.
But this book is a reminder: God has called me here, too. His hands are still here, even when I feel empty.
The reminder of the words, "The body of Christ, broken for you" in the Lord's Supper--THESE are the words that define my hope. I am not empty. I am not broken. I am only waiting. Because it is not just my brokenness. It is His strength, holding me. He is the Christ who was broken for me. His body also bears the permanent marks and scars of agony. But he didn't do a single thing to deserve that. He was God, God as spirit, and he gave that up to come here in a human body and hold me fast as I cry in my very very human pain.
I will never be alone. God bless KJ Ramsey for reminding me of this truth. He is never far.
Psalm 34:18
graceekelleywrites's review
5.0
It is a rare book indeed that can convict, comfort, and startle you with joy in the span of a few sentences. Reading this book I alternated between reading with a pen in my hand, and without, because truly, if I had had it in my hand all along there would have been endless underlining on nearly every page. K.J. Ramsey writes with poetry, drawing you into places and concepts that are theological, based in neuroscience and her own counseling background, that would perhaps otherwise be quite difficult for the average lay person to understand. She persuades you to deep meanings that you might want to reject off hand—after all, how could suffering ever bring good into our lives? But K.J. draws you in and paints a picture of a completely new way of living in the midst of suffering—not wishing it away—but instead tuning in to the presence of God always and forever with you in the middle of it. Because ‘in his presence is fullness of joy’ (Psalm 16:11), I can be present to my own life and difficult circumstances, and allow the joy of Christ to be here, continually shaping me and making me whole.
kristintravers's review
4.0
Ramsey is a brilliant, poetic writer for sure. I’d like to come back to this in a few months and read it again (when I’m hopefully in a different headspace) with a physical copy. I loved the audiobook, but there are definitely some passages that I didn’t feel like I really processed. I’ll have my highlighter at the ready.
freckleduck's review
3.0
I liked this book, I was distracted while reading and I am questioning faith so I am not sure if it was meant for me or if my rating is due to myself rather than the book.
maggiebl's review
5.0
This book is so so good. Ramsey speaks gospel truth but doesn’t brush over the hardness of suffering and living with a chronic illness. Highly recommend this to anyone walking through long term suffering or anyone seeking to minister to those who are.
ginabyeg's review
2.0
I got about half way through this book and quit. She uses very poetic and flowy language, and while there are some single-statement gems that I will hold onto, the book on the whole was not overly engaging. It felt more like an essay she was trying to defend, when I was hoping to learn more from the story of her experience. She would often start with stories, but not finish them or share the outcome. I could not get into it, and certainly for those whose chronic illness includes brain fog, it may be hard to focus through.
julleah's review against another edition
I love this author’s work but it was hard to listen to the audiobook narration.
thebeesnies's review
5.0
I've been waiting for someone to write this book for 8 years.
Chronic illness tears apart your life and makes everyone else panic and give you platitudes. Pastors who preach on suffering often force a neat resolution at the end of their sermons, tying everything up with a nice little bow. KJ Ramsey looks suffering in the face without trying to deny its reality or avoid the people for whom it doesn't resolve. It took me a year to read because her experience mirrored mine so much, and I had to put it down a lot. But she actually engaged with the difficulty of living and knowing you are loved by God even when he doesn't take away severe pain.
I'm probably going to start it again now.
Chronic illness tears apart your life and makes everyone else panic and give you platitudes. Pastors who preach on suffering often force a neat resolution at the end of their sermons, tying everything up with a nice little bow. KJ Ramsey looks suffering in the face without trying to deny its reality or avoid the people for whom it doesn't resolve. It took me a year to read because her experience mirrored mine so much, and I had to put it down a lot. But she actually engaged with the difficulty of living and knowing you are loved by God even when he doesn't take away severe pain.
I'm probably going to start it again now.
perilous1's review
3.0
"Suffering brings us to the threshold of who we are becoming."
I originally heard this author on a therapy podcast, and appreciated both the way she put words together and her candor over her chronic illness. When I found out about her book, I was excited for what I felt was a much-needed perspective on a subject that's often skirted. After reading all the sample pages, I did something I've never done before... I preordered the book for myself and several of my chronically ill friends.
This is subject material I don't see discussed enough. Not only within church (which is the author's primary focus), but in the broader culture. Chronic pain makes indirectly-affected people feel uncomfortable and helpless. And learning to sit with those you care for in the ashes of their pain/loss/grief is an art and social skill--and sacrifice of empathy--that simply isn't taught. My dearest hope was that this work would be a tool of awareness for those who wish to be a supportive fixture in the lives of those for whom suffering is continuous... and that it might be a touchstone of understanding and contemplation for those who are afflicted.
"Courage empowers us to listen where we normally would defend, to witness pain instead of judging it, to acknowledge failure as room to grow, and to sit with discomfort like it's a dawn, not a death."
Just as advertised, this is not a story with a "happy ending". It's the scattered pieces of an account written in the active midst of suffering, with no natural end in sight. It is acknowledging anguish whilst grasping at hope. And it is written with Ramsey's deeply pensive and unusually lilting style. Her voice is strong, warmly gentle, and well developed--offering an abundance of quotable lines and noteworthy compositions. (Although, the prose occasionally waxes a bit purple.)
The book turned out to be a lot more theological in focus than I'd expected. There is a running thread of the author's personal story on how her autoimmune disease struck at her life and has progressed to a crippling state. But those portions, while vivid and engaging, also seem to be more of a fleeting jumping-off point for tangential essays on faith and neuroscience. Just as we get to better know a vulnerable bit about the author, we're pulled out of the memoir and into a sort of introspective pseudo-seminary. And as much as I generally enjoy the way she puts words together, I had to fight the temptation to skim until I finally came to another part of her personal story.
The result of the alternating structure is a kind of drive-and-drift effect on the pacing. Right about page 80-85, I started finding it harder to pick the book back up. Which I would have thought just a fluke... Except that this is around the same point where several of my chronically ill friends also seemed to get stuck and feel distanced from the writing.
I would still recommend this book to anyone attempting to better love and relate to those who are coping with a wide range of "invisible illnesses"... And I hope its very existence will spark discussion and spur more readily available material on the topic. If the author one day decides to compile a more complete memoir, I would be very much interested in reading it.
I just had trouble connecting with this one in its entirety.
Favorite Quotes:
*"We who are weak remind the entire church that salvation comes only through God and not through our self-sufficient striving."
*"We strain to experience God as with us and for us in our suffering because love is not simply a cognitive truth to assent to but a relationship to be reshaped by."
*"Often the pain that makes us feel most stuck is not our suffering; it is experiencing distress in the presence of people who expect us to get better faster than we can."
(If that last one doesn't sum up the worst element of chronic illness, I don't know what does.)
I originally heard this author on a therapy podcast, and appreciated both the way she put words together and her candor over her chronic illness. When I found out about her book, I was excited for what I felt was a much-needed perspective on a subject that's often skirted. After reading all the sample pages, I did something I've never done before... I preordered the book for myself and several of my chronically ill friends.
This is subject material I don't see discussed enough. Not only within church (which is the author's primary focus), but in the broader culture. Chronic pain makes indirectly-affected people feel uncomfortable and helpless. And learning to sit with those you care for in the ashes of their pain/loss/grief is an art and social skill--and sacrifice of empathy--that simply isn't taught. My dearest hope was that this work would be a tool of awareness for those who wish to be a supportive fixture in the lives of those for whom suffering is continuous... and that it might be a touchstone of understanding and contemplation for those who are afflicted.
"Courage empowers us to listen where we normally would defend, to witness pain instead of judging it, to acknowledge failure as room to grow, and to sit with discomfort like it's a dawn, not a death."
Just as advertised, this is not a story with a "happy ending". It's the scattered pieces of an account written in the active midst of suffering, with no natural end in sight. It is acknowledging anguish whilst grasping at hope. And it is written with Ramsey's deeply pensive and unusually lilting style. Her voice is strong, warmly gentle, and well developed--offering an abundance of quotable lines and noteworthy compositions. (Although, the prose occasionally waxes a bit purple.)
The book turned out to be a lot more theological in focus than I'd expected. There is a running thread of the author's personal story on how her autoimmune disease struck at her life and has progressed to a crippling state. But those portions, while vivid and engaging, also seem to be more of a fleeting jumping-off point for tangential essays on faith and neuroscience. Just as we get to better know a vulnerable bit about the author, we're pulled out of the memoir and into a sort of introspective pseudo-seminary. And as much as I generally enjoy the way she puts words together, I had to fight the temptation to skim until I finally came to another part of her personal story.
The result of the alternating structure is a kind of drive-and-drift effect on the pacing. Right about page 80-85, I started finding it harder to pick the book back up. Which I would have thought just a fluke... Except that this is around the same point where several of my chronically ill friends also seemed to get stuck and feel distanced from the writing.
I would still recommend this book to anyone attempting to better love and relate to those who are coping with a wide range of "invisible illnesses"... And I hope its very existence will spark discussion and spur more readily available material on the topic. If the author one day decides to compile a more complete memoir, I would be very much interested in reading it.
I just had trouble connecting with this one in its entirety.
Favorite Quotes:
*"We who are weak remind the entire church that salvation comes only through God and not through our self-sufficient striving."
*"We strain to experience God as with us and for us in our suffering because love is not simply a cognitive truth to assent to but a relationship to be reshaped by."
*"Often the pain that makes us feel most stuck is not our suffering; it is experiencing distress in the presence of people who expect us to get better faster than we can."
(If that last one doesn't sum up the worst element of chronic illness, I don't know what does.)