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4.33 AVERAGE
4.33 AVERAGE
informative
reflective
slow-paced
Attachment theory has entered into the mainstream, but mostly the discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. This excludes so many people who do not fit neatly into the heternormative relationship box? That is where Polysecure comes in. Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern expands on the understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships and sets out specific strategies to help you move towards secure attachment in any of your relationships.
There was a bit of an overview over a non-exhaustive list of styles of non-monogamy relationships, but the book lacks because it spends too much time discussing how an established monogamous pair can transition more smoothly to non-monogamy. I wish the book had spent more time discussing actual nonmonogamy within relationships involving trans and nonbinary folk. It is a good starting point for someone who’s new to the concepts of non-monogamy and attachment theory.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Toxic relationship
Minor: Child abuse, Gaslighting, Abandonment
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
fast-paced
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Really enjoyed what it was about, and I will definitely revisit it. I'm just not in the space to finish it right now.
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
informative
reflective
fast-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
This book provides a very thorough introduction to attachment theory, showing very well which different aspects and experiences can influence how we are able to form attachments with others. The many self-help questions can probably be a good starting point for people who wish to develop a closer connection with some partner or attachment figure in their life. Within all this, however, there was surprisingly little discussion of poly-specific topics, which I felt a little disappointed by. This is more of a "How to have any relationship at all". To be fair, there was a section giving a nice brief overview over different styles of non-monogamy. There were also definitely some points in the self-help focused parts that were useful to me and my mental health in general, regardless of any relationships and relationship styles I might currently find myself in; and some sensible points about the disparity between what society views as markers of secure attachment (monogamous structure enforced social expectations and even legally binding contracts) and what on an emotional level actually are relevant markers. But then there were also quite a few rather esoterical moments in the book that I didn't vibe with, as well as somewhat frequent moments of citing psychological pseudoscience...
So, do I recommend this book? Meh...idk. Maybe if all other books on polyamory turn out to be worse :D
So, do I recommend this book? Meh...idk. Maybe if all other books on polyamory turn out to be worse :D
informative
reflective
fast-paced