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leonf63's review against another edition
4.0
Enjoyed the methods for negotiating for commonality and how to deal with me vs you mentalities.
bsmashers's review against another edition
5.0
Lays out all you need to consider in negotiating. Teaches you to think holistically, step back and put your best foot forward. The author's writing is straightforward, deliberate, an easy, powerful read.
roxbit's review against another edition
4.0
Good break down on the negotiation process for beginners.
teelock's review against another edition
5.0
Ury is the recipient of the Whitney North Seymour Award from the American Arbitration Association. He also received the Distinguished Service Medal from the Russian Parliament for his work on the resolution of ethnic conflicts. He received the 2012 Peacemakers Award from Mediators Beyond Borders.
Getting Past No is a reference book on collaborative negotiation in difficult situations, written by William L. Ury. First published in September 1991 and revised in 2007, this book is the sequel to Getting to Yes...
Getting Past No is a reference book on collaborative negotiation in difficult situations, written by William L. Ury. First published in September 1991 and revised in 2007, this book is the sequel to Getting to Yes...
cocoonofbooks's review
3.0
A quick read with practical, memorable tips on negotiation. Where I found it a little disappointing is that he opens the book by talking about how we are constantly negotiating -- with our spouse, with our coworkers, with our kids. But almost all of the strategies and examples seem based around formal negotiations -- salary negotiations, union negotiations, negotiations with hostage-takers. The tips seem very helpful for situations in which both sides are aware of the fact that they are negotiating and where they both have at least some motivation to reach an agreement. I've only had one opportunity to try to put the tips to use, when bringing a grievance to HR, but the person I was talking to came out swinging, interrupted and argued with everything I said (whereas all the people in Ury's examples have paragraphs in which to express their viewpoints), and made it clear that they didn't really care whether I worked there or not. So while I think Ury's tips could be useful in a lot of situations and in certain careers where negotiations happen often, I haven't found a lot of immediate applications for me.
lisagray68's review
4.0
Great book on negotiation - really for anyone who has difficult people they need to negotiate with. This book can be useful to almost anyone.
katefinityreads's review
4.0
Nothing new or shocking here, but I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I do many of these things when faced with a difficult situation.
Ury also outlines the ways negotiations fall apart, which was helpful by highlighting to me that I'm likely to give in too easily, or look for an alternative to building what he calls "the golden bridge."
I think the most important lesson I learned from this book is in understanding the other person's perspective. You may see the benefits of doing something a certain way, but perhaps those benefits aren't what the other party is looking for. Understanding how to achieve your own needs is only one half of the struggle.
Ury also outlines the ways negotiations fall apart, which was helpful by highlighting to me that I'm likely to give in too easily, or look for an alternative to building what he calls "the golden bridge."
I think the most important lesson I learned from this book is in understanding the other person's perspective. You may see the benefits of doing something a certain way, but perhaps those benefits aren't what the other party is looking for. Understanding how to achieve your own needs is only one half of the struggle.
kxowledge's review
5.0
This book is way better than the first in the series Getting to Yes. I like Ury's prose and his advices are concrete and helpful, it's no wonder this book is considered a negotiation primer.
Key takeaway:
• Obstacles to cooperative negotiation:
o your (emotional) reaction – don’t strike back, don’t give in, don’t break off – to fight this it’s important to recognize the OP’s tactic (stone wall, attack, trick go around, deflect, expose), know your hot buttons, and take time to reflect
o their emotion – understand the OP’s perspective (even paraphrase what they say to demonstrate your understanding, ask them to correct any of your misunderstanding), crate an atmosphere of agreement by using the word “yes” (prefereably use “yes, and” instead of “yes, but”), acknowledge their authority/competence, make I-statements and not you-statements
o their position – don’t reject, reframe: ask the OP open-ended (why? Why not? What if? What makes that fair?) questions in order to clarify their interest, test their opinions and attemot ti dusciver their standards of fairness; ask them for what would they do if they were in your position and how they think the issue should be handled;
o their dissatisfaction – remove common obstacles, don’t dismiss them as irrational, spend time trying to understand their nned and their reasoning, consider the needs for recognition/identity/security, ensure that the proposal is consistent with their principles and values
o their power – help them see that agreement is in their best interest (compare BATNAs, let OP know the consequeces “What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?”/”What do you think I will do?”/”What will you do?”
• Identify your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement then use that as leverage.
• After asking a question that recived an incomplete or unclear answer, or after presenting an option, be quiet. Most people are uncomfortable with silence during tense situations, so probably the OP will speak first and offer more info.
• Keep in mind that the OP may reject an offer because it wasn’t their idea, because they have further interests, because they believe they will lose face by accepting, because they might be feeling rushed to agreement. In cases like these, avoid telling the OP what the best solition is or why your proposal is the best, instead invite them to share their ideas, offer multiple choices, use an if-then formula, consider having a third party recommend your proposal, ensure that the OP receives credit for resolving the conflict
• Separate the process of reaching agreement into steps based on various issues and then move issues by issue
Key takeaway:
• Obstacles to cooperative negotiation:
o your (emotional) reaction – don’t strike back, don’t give in, don’t break off – to fight this it’s important to recognize the OP’s tactic (stone wall, attack, trick go around, deflect, expose), know your hot buttons, and take time to reflect
o their emotion – understand the OP’s perspective (even paraphrase what they say to demonstrate your understanding, ask them to correct any of your misunderstanding), crate an atmosphere of agreement by using the word “yes” (prefereably use “yes, and” instead of “yes, but”), acknowledge their authority/competence, make I-statements and not you-statements
o their position – don’t reject, reframe: ask the OP open-ended (why? Why not? What if? What makes that fair?) questions in order to clarify their interest, test their opinions and attemot ti dusciver their standards of fairness; ask them for what would they do if they were in your position and how they think the issue should be handled;
o their dissatisfaction – remove common obstacles, don’t dismiss them as irrational, spend time trying to understand their nned and their reasoning, consider the needs for recognition/identity/security, ensure that the proposal is consistent with their principles and values
o their power – help them see that agreement is in their best interest (compare BATNAs, let OP know the consequeces “What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?”/”What do you think I will do?”/”What will you do?”
• Identify your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement then use that as leverage.
• After asking a question that recived an incomplete or unclear answer, or after presenting an option, be quiet. Most people are uncomfortable with silence during tense situations, so probably the OP will speak first and offer more info.
• Keep in mind that the OP may reject an offer because it wasn’t their idea, because they have further interests, because they believe they will lose face by accepting, because they might be feeling rushed to agreement. In cases like these, avoid telling the OP what the best solition is or why your proposal is the best, instead invite them to share their ideas, offer multiple choices, use an if-then formula, consider having a third party recommend your proposal, ensure that the OP receives credit for resolving the conflict
• Separate the process of reaching agreement into steps based on various issues and then move issues by issue
xgebi's review
2.0
I started reading this book after Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference and frankly something felt a bit off while reading this book.
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