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The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It by Kelly McGonigal
leevoncarbon's review against another edition
4.0
There are several points in the book where statements are made that leave you saying: "It cannot be that simple and straightforward". But they are all backed up with substantive research results. At the same time much of the book could be summarized with a couple of statements from another well known book: "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind" and "love your neighbor as yourself".
lilyevangeline's review against another edition
4.0
I hesitate to use the phrase "life-changing" in regards to anything, but reading this book has actually been a pretty significant experience for me and initiated rather a shift in my mental landscape, especially as I've been trying to sort through my own anxiety, dread, and a variety of other feelings, good and bad, that I have with regards to my own adequacy or lack thereof while preparing to apply for school. I've been told med school is "living hell," and so as busy as my life is now, it seems probable that my life will only get more stressful from here on out.
The time has come to deal or keel. Thus. This book.
I first learned about Kelly McGonigal after watching her 2013 TED talk, How To Make Stress Your Friend, and while what she presented in that talk was intriguing, it wasn't until I read the book that I felt I really accepted/believed what she had to say.
The message is pretty simple: We've been told all our lives, by health professionals and authorities of all stripes, that stress is bad for us, associated with an early grave, and we should avoid and minimize it at all costs. McGonigal, however, presents an increasing and astonishing body of evidence that rather unequivocally shows that stress only has a negative affect on health (both physical and mental) if you believe that it does.
People with high-stress lives who have a more positive approach to stress, seeing it as a natural part of life and an opportunity for personal growth/etc/etc, not only have none of the negative health issues associated with stress, but actually seem to perform better by most standards of professional and interpersonal success, in addition to apparently leading happier, more fulfilling lives.
I can't explain the whole thing as well as she can, so I won't even bother (watch the TED talk if you want a summarized version), but suffice to say, there's more evidence to back it up than you would think, and it's not an "I think I can I think I can" stubborn positivity mumbo-jumbo, or a ignoring/denial of stress/suffering/etc, or a "you can't have happiness without sadness so how about we see your awful life as a blessing" kind of thing, though it can kind of seem that way at first glance.
It's about understanding our bodies, why they behave the way that they do under stress, and how we can change our own mindsets about stress to work with our bodies instead of against them.
The book can get a bit repetitive at times, thus the 4 stars, but I still feel that it is definitely worth the read and adds a lot of information (specifically more studies/research, interesting info about the stress response, and practical application) that isn't covered in the TED talk and that is worth the time.
The time has come to deal or keel. Thus. This book.
I first learned about Kelly McGonigal after watching her 2013 TED talk, How To Make Stress Your Friend, and while what she presented in that talk was intriguing, it wasn't until I read the book that I felt I really accepted/believed what she had to say.
The message is pretty simple: We've been told all our lives, by health professionals and authorities of all stripes, that stress is bad for us, associated with an early grave, and we should avoid and minimize it at all costs. McGonigal, however, presents an increasing and astonishing body of evidence that rather unequivocally shows that stress only has a negative affect on health (both physical and mental) if you believe that it does.
People with high-stress lives who have a more positive approach to stress, seeing it as a natural part of life and an opportunity for personal growth/etc/etc, not only have none of the negative health issues associated with stress, but actually seem to perform better by most standards of professional and interpersonal success, in addition to apparently leading happier, more fulfilling lives.
I can't explain the whole thing as well as she can, so I won't even bother (watch the TED talk if you want a summarized version), but suffice to say, there's more evidence to back it up than you would think, and it's not an "I think I can I think I can" stubborn positivity mumbo-jumbo, or a ignoring/denial of stress/suffering/etc, or a "you can't have happiness without sadness so how about we see your awful life as a blessing" kind of thing, though it can kind of seem that way at first glance.
It's about understanding our bodies, why they behave the way that they do under stress, and how we can change our own mindsets about stress to work with our bodies instead of against them.
The book can get a bit repetitive at times, thus the 4 stars, but I still feel that it is definitely worth the read and adds a lot of information (specifically more studies/research, interesting info about the stress response, and practical application) that isn't covered in the TED talk and that is worth the time.
leafthroughmypages's review against another edition
5.0
I suffer from generalized anxiety and panic attacks. I was pretty darn skeptical about the conclusions in this book, but after completing it and seeing the journey to those ideas, I've come to my own seemingly unlikely conclusion: this book has the potential to change so many minds and lives for the better. To me, it is obviously in poor taste to suggest to someone suffering that they should just "use that pain," but if one is able to come to this book with an open mind and heart, I think it can have a really positive effect as it did with me. I hope more people are able to find peace and strength from this book as I have.
cauchemarlena's review against another edition
3.0
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Five stars for the topic, one star for the execution, averaging it out to a somewhat fair three stars (emotionally, I wanted to give it two, because it made me cry and if the copy I read were mine, I would burn it).
I received this copy from a friend, who thought I might, in one way or another, benefit from it. The first 100 or so pages felt like the author was selling me stress—it's good for you, you want more of it in your life—which made me quite uneasy. These are exactly the kind of things I'd say if I was trying to convince people to dedicate their life to the Company.
My first problem started with defining stress—in the introduction, the author spends a lot of time avoiding defining it, admitting that the word has become a catchall term. Ultimately, they offer this definitive framework: stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake which I feel is at the same time both too broad and too narrow. Are we talking about physical stress? Psychological stress? Stress responses? What's the difference?
Actually, this book is about mindsets and their influence on us, particularly how finding the best even in the worst of situations could be helpful. It's a noble goal and I'm sure there's an audience for it, however I am clearly not part of the target audience. I would even go as far as to say this book caused me irreversible damage.
This book makes a compelling argument to the benefits of stress without ever really divulging in the subject. Here are some questions that I had while reading and bothered to write down:
• During the tests, was the word stress defined in the same way as the author defines it in introduction?
• While students performed better after the mindset intervention on standardized tests, what were the effects of stress on long-term memory on those students? Were they able to retain information better?
• How do we know the results are linked to the stress and not the sense of achievement that comes from overcoming difficulty and from positive feedback? Did the test subjects who failed/did not do well on the test benefit from the stress? How do we know? What was the influence of stress on the students who did not engage in a positive feedback loop? Who failed to engage in a support network and/or who were denied support?
I'm most curious about the last one because in the second half of the book, the author also talks about grief and how people either shy away from the topic of loss or, alternatively, react with pity. What are the positives, if a person is stuck in a negative feedback loop? You cannot cure a broken leg with thinking that it's healed and you cannot create a community with people who don't want you in it.
The second half of the book was slightly better than the first. The author finally gets to the point: stress is unavoidable; it's better to embrace it. Avoiding problems and hiding away is not a viable long-term solution. The only way out is through as the saying goes. However, I feel like the author has fallen into the same trap many academics fall into: growing so distanced from reality that they fail to see the larger picture.
Rather than try convince people that their daily stress is good and even beneficial, I feel this book would have been better focusing less on the stress and more on the mindset. I didn't hate the mindset exercises in the book, but I didn't love them either, with the exception of "Tell your story of growth" task at the end of the book, which I enjoyed surprisingly a lot considering my opinion on the rest of the book.
As it is, in my opinion, this book is likelier to start a cycle of toxic positivity than make a healthy impact on its readers. Friends, remember: It's not stress that's good for you; it's how you make it through.
Five stars for the topic, one star for the execution, averaging it out to a somewhat fair three stars (emotionally, I wanted to give it two, because it made me cry and if the copy I read were mine, I would burn it).
I received this copy from a friend, who thought I might, in one way or another, benefit from it. The first 100 or so pages felt like the author was selling me stress—it's good for you, you want more of it in your life—which made me quite uneasy. These are exactly the kind of things I'd say if I was trying to convince people to dedicate their life to the Company.
My first problem started with defining stress—in the introduction, the author spends a lot of time avoiding defining it, admitting that the word has become a catchall term. Ultimately, they offer this definitive framework: stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake which I feel is at the same time both too broad and too narrow. Are we talking about physical stress? Psychological stress? Stress responses? What's the difference?
Actually, this book is about mindsets and their influence on us, particularly how finding the best even in the worst of situations could be helpful. It's a noble goal and I'm sure there's an audience for it, however I am clearly not part of the target audience. I would even go as far as to say this book caused me irreversible damage.
This book makes a compelling argument to the benefits of stress without ever really divulging in the subject. Here are some questions that I had while reading and bothered to write down:
• During the tests, was the word stress defined in the same way as the author defines it in introduction?
• While students performed better after the mindset intervention on standardized tests, what were the effects of stress on long-term memory on those students? Were they able to retain information better?
• How do we know the results are linked to the stress and not the sense of achievement that comes from overcoming difficulty and from positive feedback? Did the test subjects who failed/did not do well on the test benefit from the stress? How do we know? What was the influence of stress on the students who did not engage in a positive feedback loop? Who failed to engage in a support network and/or who were denied support?
I'm most curious about the last one because in the second half of the book, the author also talks about grief and how people either shy away from the topic of loss or, alternatively, react with pity. What are the positives, if a person is stuck in a negative feedback loop? You cannot cure a broken leg with thinking that it's healed and you cannot create a community with people who don't want you in it.
The second half of the book was slightly better than the first. The author finally gets to the point: stress is unavoidable; it's better to embrace it. Avoiding problems and hiding away is not a viable long-term solution. The only way out is through as the saying goes. However, I feel like the author has fallen into the same trap many academics fall into: growing so distanced from reality that they fail to see the larger picture.
Rather than try convince people that their daily stress is good and even beneficial, I feel this book would have been better focusing less on the stress and more on the mindset. I didn't hate the mindset exercises in the book, but I didn't love them either, with the exception of "Tell your story of growth" task at the end of the book, which I enjoyed surprisingly a lot considering my opinion on the rest of the book.
As it is, in my opinion, this book is likelier to start a cycle of toxic positivity than make a healthy impact on its readers. Friends, remember: It's not stress that's good for you; it's how you make it through.
sh00's review against another edition
3.0
Мне прислали эту книгу в качестве утешительного приза сразу после окончания дистанционного этапа "Лидеров России 2019", хотя стресс-тест я, как раз, прошёл удачно. Немного полистал - потом вчитался, потому что книга оказалась не мотиватором, а неким обобщающим многолетние, подтверждённые публикациями, исследования.
Однажды, довольно давно, я понял для себя простую вещь - своё отношение к происшествиям с собой можно менять. Я не говорю о современном "позитивчике", розовых очках, через которые предлагается смотреть на всё (а если не получается, то надо игнорировать, ведь то, что не решилось само собой, похоже, вообще не заслуживает решения). Сразу после этого осознания я за считанные месяцы избавился от панических приступов, обусловленых травмирующим опытом. Уже неплохо, не правда ли? А потом стало ещё интереснее.
_
Я понял, что стресс не убивает, а мобилизует. Что обработать можно почти любое количество поступающих данных. Что проблем на самом деле нет - а есть либо расходы, либо задачи. Сразу после этого осознания мне стало гораздо легче брать ответственность за ключевые моменты - и в тот момент, когда я перестал бояться ошибок, их количество уменьшилось само по себе. Появилось обыкновение на отчёты за неудачи приносить не менее двух вариантов исправления, вне зависимости от их сложности... дальше всё пошло как-то само собой.
Однако я совершенно перестал понимать тех, кто отчаивается, опускает руки, боится работы, ноет, бегает от ответственности, излишне рефлексирует и т.д. - список может затянуться. Книгу советую прямо вот всем. Здорово, когда вместо объяснения "почему ты так?" можно просто выдать мануал - на, читай, там всё написано.
Однажды, довольно давно, я понял для себя простую вещь - своё отношение к происшествиям с собой можно менять. Я не говорю о современном "позитивчике", розовых очках, через которые предлагается смотреть на всё (а если не получается, то надо игнорировать, ведь то, что не решилось само собой, похоже, вообще не заслуживает решения). Сразу после этого осознания я за считанные месяцы избавился от панических приступов, обусловленых травмирующим опытом. Уже неплохо, не правда ли? А потом стало ещё интереснее.
_
Я понял, что стресс не убивает, а мобилизует. Что обработать можно почти любое количество поступающих данных. Что проблем на самом деле нет - а есть либо расходы, либо задачи. Сразу после этого осознания мне стало гораздо легче брать ответственность за ключевые моменты - и в тот момент, когда я перестал бояться ошибок, их количество уменьшилось само по себе. Появилось обыкновение на отчёты за неудачи приносить не менее двух вариантов исправления, вне зависимости от их сложности... дальше всё пошло как-то само собой.
Однако я совершенно перестал понимать тех, кто отчаивается, опускает руки, боится работы, ноет, бегает от ответственности, излишне рефлексирует и т.д. - список может затянуться. Книгу советую прямо вот всем. Здорово, когда вместо объяснения "почему ты так?" можно просто выдать мануал - на, читай, там всё написано.
mika3's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
I didn't really like this. Some of the stories were nice. Not sure how well the science actually holds up and she often says things she has no evidence for as fact that are just her opinions. However, as someone that is learning how much perspective and mindset can change your experience of things, the exercises and writings she advises are really good. I think it's genuinely improved my skills of reframing a tough situation and believing in myself a little more. They're really good as journal prompts. However, personally, there are somewhere around 6 of them in this whole book so I'm not sure it was really worth it.
On reflection: The content itself maybe garners 2.5 ☆s . The realisations and mindset changes and alteration of my overall outlook on life amount to 4.5 ☆s
On reflection: The content itself maybe garners 2.5 ☆s . The realisations and mindset changes and alteration of my overall outlook on life amount to 4.5 ☆s
drubin87's review against another edition
4.0
This book has some amazing concepts but I feel it could be about 20 -30% shorter.
sailorgold_'s review against another edition
4.0
I was very skeptic about this book at first, but I actually feel like I've learned not only about stress, but avout myself.
I enjoyed the fact that it was nuanced and how slowly McGonigal gets her point across (my problem with self help book is how patronizing they often feel, and how they gloss over anything that doesn't go their way. McGonigal is a scholar and it shows.)
I enjoyed the fact that it was nuanced and how slowly McGonigal gets her point across (my problem with self help book is how patronizing they often feel, and how they gloss over anything that doesn't go their way. McGonigal is a scholar and it shows.)
ipreferquiet's review against another edition
5.0
I would recommend this book to anyone who is open to a mindset change about stress and adversity. It's the best non-fiction book I've read in years (but I don't read non-fiction much).